Shadows and Stained Glass
by the Zoshi
Summary: Kylo Ren returns from his stay with the Supreme Leader changed in strange and unsettling ways. Hux's unease grows as it becomes more and more obvious that Ren is no longer completely who he was. The incidents that began to occur only serve to highlight Ren's odd behavior, and soon Hux can see that Ren is rapidly becoming something else, something terrible and inhuman.
I'm not quite sure what to say at this moment - I guess I'm proud. I wrote a 26k story within the course of eight days.

All I can say is that I wondered what it would be like if Kylo Ren went so deep into the darkness that he ended up meeting the eldritch monstrosities that dwelled within - and came back out changed. The story flowed on from there.

I hope you all enjoy. Please let me know what you think of this - I don't want to say too much more without giving away the story and the premise. More notes will be at the end.

You can find me on tumbler at itsdetachable DOT tumblr DOT com

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Hux liked to think of himself as a man of logic and reason, guided by thought rather than sentiment. It wasn't that he didn't allow himself emotion - emotion was a necessary tool in life, one that could prove useful when handled correctly - but rather, that he understood the limits of emotion within the context of his position. What he felt towards others could be acknowledged, but it should only be acted on when it suited his needs. They were in a war, and that required focus and dedication. Sentiments such as concern and sympathy, appreciation and love, and yes even hatred and disgust, could not be ignored but needed to be handled carefully and with sense. Sentiment should never be allowed to overcome logic and reason. These were the guidelines he'd set for himself quite a long time before, and what had guided him to such a high and successful position at the forefront of the First Order's forces.

Those carefully designed guidelines he'd painstakingly put in place crashed and burned along with Starkiller base - in one, swift moment they were torn apart more completely than he could have ever expected.

He'd acknowledged his feelings towards Kylo Ren a long, long time before - he'd always had the annoying habit of allowing grudging respect and rivalry to develop into infatuation - however he'd been able to neatly contain that sentiment, pack it away in a corner of his mind he rarely disturbed. Had Ren not been quite so reckless, quite so unpredictable and careless, Hux might've fallen for him harder. As it was, whatever he felt for the man was a fleeting distraction, often there and gone before he'd even had the chance to acknowledge it. He had it all quite under control, he'd believed.

Collecting Ren from the surface of Starkiller was something Hux should've handed off to an officer, in hindsight. There really had been no reason for him to accompany the team of Stormtroopers as they tracked the wayward knight down. And yet - sentiment, perhaps. Perhaps it was the first crack in his strict personal code that heralded its ultimate destruction. He told himself it was duty, he was only following the orders given to him by Supreme Leader Snoke, and nothing else. So it was that he found himself striding over the shuddering ground ij the direction the tracking beacon led them to, glaring irritably at the branches that threatened to fall on him at every step. He'd pulled ahead of the Stormtroopers at one point, and a falling tree blocked their advance, billowing dust and snow over him. He paused a moment to confirm that no one had been trapped beneath it, then turned to head onward, trusting that the troops would follow. He steered towards a clearing he saw just ahead. Entering it, he stopped dead in his tracks at the sight before him.

Hux was not a squeamish man, and blood had never bothered him, but upon seeing the red stains streaked across the dirty snow, rivulets of crimson melted through in places, he felt his heart shudder fitfully. There was no question whom they belonged to - Ren was before him, sprawled on the ground, hands desperately scrabbling for purchase as he attempted to pull himself forward. The world was suddenly very quiet around Hux, noises fading into a distant hum. Slowly, he stepped closer, and at his approach Ren shuddered, pushed himself up slightly to look at Hux. His eyes were wide with pain, blood streamed from a ghastly wound on his face. He reached out a shaking hand and grasped at Hux's boot, his breath fast and billowing white in the chill air. For a moment longer his eyes met Hux's - and then in a second they unfocused, his head rolling forward to rest on the top of Hux's boot, hand slackening at his ankle.

They carried Ren back to the shuttle in double-time, the planet shuddering in its death throes around them. The troopers rested the injured man on a bench in back, then rushed forward to take their positions as the shuttle took off. Hux should've been in the cockpit, should've been watching to confirm their escape was progressing smoothly. Instead he hung back, hovering around Ren, disquieted and very close to becoming overcome by the sudden release of so much pent up emotion.

He could not lose Ren. He'd lost far too much in the space of a few hours - soldiers, Starkiller, all his life's work, plans that would've stretched for _years_ if things had gone as they should have - he could not lose Ren as well. The depth of his emotions for the man surprised him, he had never allowed himself to explore them much before, electing to file away each moment, each flicker of sentiment, before it could be properly addressed. It had been a mistake, obviously; all of it came out at once now, flooding him, nearly overwhelming him. He told himself he'd get over it, if Ren died. He'd gotten over so much in his life, he'd get over this as well. Somehow, he knew he'd never be quite the same living with the regret that was sure to follow if he did.

Ren was still breathing when they reached the Finalizer, and Hux had them rush him to the medical bay.

Twelve hours later, Snoke demanded that Ren be brought to him immediately.

Six hours after that, Ren was gone, and Hux was alone.

Days stretched into weeks, and weeks into months. Snoke held somewhat regular meetings with Hux concerning their further plans. The topic of Kylo Ren was never breached, and the silence grated on Hux's nerves, made him uneasy. Despite Hux's misgivings he found it difficult to bring Ren up in their discussions. Snoke was not pleased with the destruction of Starkiller and the setback it had caused, and though Hux loathed being under his command, didn't truly respect him as he should have, he was not inclined to test Snoke's temper with questions about the injured knight. As Snoke reminded him at every meeting, the next actions of the First Order in regards to the Resistance, and the worlds that were jumping to its aid, would be decisive - for the First Order, yes, but for Hux's status within it as well. Hux was _not_ going to lose rank over something as trivial as sentiment. His time became filled with planning raids, winning control of planets and resources, harassing the brightest of his engineers to come up with _something_ that would give them an edge in battle - and soon. Thoughts of Ren were quickly buried under the weight of managing the massive military operations required to fulfill plans that were constantly being rewritten and reworked, and he was not sorry to see them go.

When the message came that an unknown ship was approaching the Finalizer, Hux was ready to blast it apart for the audacity it had to interrupt him. He'd been preparing the topics for discussion for the next day's meeting, an effort that had lately been giving him migraines and a thirst for hard liquor. There were roughly sixty matters to be handled at the meeting, and time for maybe twenty of them - if no one had questions or raised concerns. Beyond that, he had several other things to attend to - the engineers had new prototypes, the council from a recently acquired planet was expecting to speak to him in a few short hours... His schedule had absolutely no room placed aside for dealing with unknowns, hostile or otherwise (his schedule barely had time for eating and sleeping by that point) and he was willing to let the ship's cannons deal with the distraction if it gained him a few moments of time to focus on more important things.

"We… we believe it is the Knights, sir," Mitaka said as they watched the unknown ship's bulk approach through the windows of the bridge.

"Believe? Or _know_?" Hux snapped irritably.

"Know, sir." Mitaka amended hurriedly. He looked uncomfortable; Hux couldn't blame him, though he was less than pleased that the man showed it so clearly. The Knights were rare visitors, Hux could count the number of times they'd boarded the Finalizer on one hand. What their purpose was only Snoke knew, and Hux supposed it was more than merely searching out Force sensitives and removing them before they could become a threat.

"Direct them to the dock on level C," Hux said, "I will go meet them myself."

"Yes, sir." Mitaka turned to relay the orders, and Hux left the bridge, his mind already racing into unwelcome territory.

It had been seven months since the Knights had arrived and taken Ren - had they now come to return him? The thought sent a shudder of anticipation through him, he couldn't keep himself from speeding up as he strode through the corridors of the ship. The lifts were far too slow for him; though he maintained his composure inside his heart was pounding. He almost hated himself in that moment, hated the eagerness that blossomed within him at the thought of seeing Ren again. Forcing himself back into control, he'd reigned in his emotions by the time he reached the dock. Ren's return to the Finalizer must have been a strategic decision by Snoke, and Hux needed to treat it as such despite having received no word of Ren's return from the Supreme Leader himself. Ren was, as always, another tool within the workings of the FIrst Order, and Hux vowed that that was how he would remain in his mind.

The flutter in his chest at the sight of the familiar, dark clothed figure belied that dedication.

"So, you've been returned." Hux said in greeting. Ren regarded him silently, the cold metal of his mask glinting.

"I have returned," He responded finally, obviously unpleased with the words Hux had chosen, rephrasing them to his liking. Hux grinned thinly.

"Your companions?" Hux asked, eyeing the group of dark figures arrayed behind Ren. They were silent, they always were when around Ren. Hux had heard they were a talkative, somewhat rowdy lot when their master was not around, but Hux had only ever seen them as they were then, stiff and formal.

"The shuttle needs to refuel," Ren answered simply.

"That will be taken care of. There are spare quarters on the barracks level they may use." Hux responded. "What are your orders?"

"The same as always," Ren sounded somewhat annoyed. "To _assist_."

"Good." Hux said, unable to keep the smirk from his face. He motioned for Ren to follow him as he turned away. "There are several missions in planning, and your input may be necessary."

"I am here to serve, General," Ren said with more sincerity than was necessary. Hux wasn't all that surprised to find that his sarcasm had survived, but he couldn't help but wonder at the rest of him. For what is was worth, Ren didn't seem to have any lasting damage from the battle. It had been seven months, Hux reminded himself, more than enough time for the wounds to heal. It seemed much shorter, now that Ren had returned. It almost seemed like he'd never left at all.

"I trust your recovery went well?" Hux said before he could catch himself. Ren's short laugh caught him off guard, though it was a moment before the other man spoke.

"Yes…" Ren paused as if in thought, "Yes, quite well."

Ren remained quiet for the rest of their trip to the bridge, following step in step with Hux almost obediently. It was disconcerting; Hux hadn't expected them to hold a conversation, but Ren had been much more vocal in the past. Now he seemed somewhat distracted.

"If you would prefer to rest from your trip before we get started, your quarters are as you had left them," Hux said finally, unable to take the eerie silence any longer. Ren turned to face him slowly, again there was that short delay before he spoke.

"No," He said the word deliberately, followed it with another pause, "Tell me what plans you have in mind, General. I'll be more than happy to point out their inadequacies."

That was something more like what Hux was used to, but he couldn't help but feel it was forced. There was none of the usual cheek to it, no energy. Ren sounded tired, yet he seemed determined to hear what was being planned. Once Hux began laying out the upcoming missions and matters he found himself on a roll only stopped by the reminder that his meeting with the planetary council was beginning soon. Ren had been true to his word, interjecting Hux's explanations with questions and comments that only set Hux off on tangents he hadn't considered before. Ren had his uses, sometimes; set apart from the mechanical-like inner-workings of the First Order he'd often brought new perspectives to the table during discussions, when he bothered to pay attention, and Hux found himself somewhat relieved that Ren had returned in that aspect. The man had brought up important points that Hux had not considered - and there was still time to make note for them for the meeting the next day.

"That is all for now," Hux said finally, having been reminded of the meeting for the second time. "The meeting is at 0900 hours tomorrow, don't be late."

"I wouldn't dream of it, _sir_ ," Ren said slowly, Hux thought he could hear the smirk in his tone. Still, something was very odd about it all, Ren's secretive return, his somewhat languid manner. Though time was pressing, Hux found himself hanging back, eyeing the other man curiously.

"Are you all right?" He asked finally, his voice low and hopefully unheard by anyone other than them. Ren stiffened at his words.

"If you're worried about whether I can perform my duties," Ren's voice was suddenly fiery, "I remind you that is has been _months_ since the battle and I assure you, _General_ , I am _more_ than capable."

That wasn't it at all, but Hux merely scowled at the man, annoyed at his own words and feelings. Ren was obviously fine, there had been no reason to worry. He'd be back to breaking things and acting out soon, no doubt. With an irritated huff of breath, Hux turned to leave.

"That's not it," Ren said then, almost too quiet for Hux to hear.

Puzzled, he turned to look at the other man. Ren regarded him for a moment, nothing visible behind the dark hole in the mask's faceplate.

"You… You're concerned _about_ me." It was almost phrased like a question, almost like a statement. Hux's scowl deepened.

"I have many concerns," Hux admitted somewhat coldly, "You, however, are the least of them."

Without another word he turned sharply and strode away, leaving Ren behind.

"Sir, may I have a word with you?"

Hux motioned for Phasma to approach, unwilling to leave the bridge at the moment. They would soon be returning to realspace and he wanted to confirm their route to the First Order outpost on asteroid K-15 was clear of unexpected dangers.

"Privately, sir." Phasma said, this time a bit of urgency in her tone. Hux shot her a questioning look, it wasn't often that the captain was so forward. He'd been expecting a short report on the most recent mission to one of the mining stations - the ships had returned only shortly before their jump into hyperspace - but those Phasma would usually deliver wherever he was. They weren't difficult missions by any stretch of the imagination, and this one should have run particularly smoothly as, to avoid further damage to The Finalizer, he'd assigned Ren to assist (he hadn't expected the man to return to his old ways quite so soon, but somehow Hux found the return to routine a relief. Being consistently irritated by Ren's antics certainly helped keep unwanted feelings at bay).

"Monitor our approach," Hux said to Mitaka, "And notify me immediately if anything is out of order."

"Yes sir."

Hux led the way off of the bridge, Phasma following in step, and to a closed meeting room down the corridor.

"What is it?" Hux said as they entered. Phasma waited until the door closed behind him, then stepped a little closer.

"Sir, there was an…" She paused, "An incident."

"What type of _incident_?" Hux asked irritably. His mind was already rolling through scenarios, Ren at the center of all of them, ruining things or acting out in unnecessary ways. What would need to be replaced this time? Funds were tight enough as it was, they didn't need any more expenses…

"The intel we had received stated that the Resistance outpost was fully defended, and we had expected to be met with heavy fire." Phasma delivered the report crisply, but there was an undercurrent of uncertainty in her tone that Hux found somewhat disconcerting. "However, upon arrival we discovered that the outpost was understaffed. By the time the additional forces, which we were told were already there, had arrived the outpost was under our control, and we were able to repel their attack with few casualties."

Hux mulled the words over in his head. At first glance it sounded like a perfectly executed offensive, however… the intel they had received had been sound. Multiple informants had given them the same information, the Resistance forces defending the outpost had been in place for _weeks_. A prickle ran up his spine as he tried to think it over, tried to find a way to explain the discrepancy. The informants had all been trusted, had never made mistakes before and Hux had no reason to believe they had now.

"Sir, I believe... " Phasma began, then stopped herself. For a moment she seemed to be considering her words. "Sir, I believe that by now, you can trust my observations to be of the logical and sensible sort, without embellishment."

"Captain, for as long as you have been in service to the First Order your observations have been nothing but." Hux said, "I have to assume that you are about to tell me something that might sound somewhat unrealistic?"

"It may sound so, yes," Phasma said, "I believe that the change we encountered was due to… Kylo Ren."

"What?" Hux asked, caught off guard, "Why makes you think that?"  
"The hyperspace jump was expected to last close to ten hours," Phasma spoke slowly, as if she were confirming the facts she presented as she spoke, "I remember Kylo Ren making an offhand comment about it 'taking too long' before leaving the bridge. I do not know where he went, and his comment would have mattered little in any case, except that our systems notified us of the exit to realspace a full three and a half hours before the scheduled time."

"And Ren?" Hux asked vaguely, he was still trying to grasp at what he was hearing.

"His whereabouts during the jump out are unknown, but he engaged in the attack on the outpost on landing. He did, however seem… wearied throughout it. He certainly wasn't in the type of form we'd come to expect from him." Phasma said simply.

"Wearied?" Hux repeated, arching an eyebrow. That was new, and unexpected.

"I want to make note, sir, that I am not complaining about the outcome of this mission," Phasma said, "I merely wanted to relay the facts directly to you."  
"Yes, thank you Captain." Hux said, "I appreciate the discretion in this matter. If you notice anything of this sort again, I want to hear of it as soon as possible."

"Of course, sir," Phasma said, and with Hux's dismissal left the room.

He should be returning to the bridge, but Hux couldn't stop thinking on what the captain had told him. The defenses - those could have been explained away, but the hyperspace jump… He walked over to the room's console and started pouring through reports, finally pulling up the flight recorder for the mission. The ship systems recorded every command, and he was able to pull up the relevant information quickly. The ship had engaged in two hyperspace jumps, one to the planet and one returning to the Finalizer. There, backlit by red, were two time stamps from the first jump:

Estimated Trip Time: 10.00hrs

Actual Trip Time: 06.34hrs

Hux ignored the shiver that crawled up his spine and squashed down the foreboding that woke in the back of his mind. There could have been a glitch in the system, he told himself. Even the best programmed system could have errors. Perhaps Phasma was not following the time quite as closely as usual.

He should have headed back to the bridge. Instead, he found himself heading for the private quarters instead. He'd been sure he'd been overreacting when he'd thought Ren was quieter, slower, more tired than he'd ever been before. Despite Ren's return to his fits of ship-damaging rage, there was still something lacking about him, something off about his timing on reactions, about his handling of situations, almost as if he couldn't quite remember how it was he had acted before, and needed time to process the proper behavior. Truthfully, Hux had sent Ren on the mission in the hopes that it would get him moving, _wake him up_ , bring him back to form. If even Phasma had noticed Ren acting oddly, in the midst of fighting no less, something was not right. Hux should've gone back to the bridge, and ignored the unease in his mind, but decided to finally drop pretense and admit to himself - he was _worried_.

The corridor was empty when he exited the lift. He stood at Ren's door for a moment, attempting to convince himself that this was unnecessary, before he finally tapped at the door pad to request entrance. Silence greeted him, no Force touch reached towards him. That only aggravated Hux further, Ren never let anyone near his door without sensing them first. Hux had had to undergo it multiple times over the years, and hated the feeling each time. His hand hovered over the pad - perhaps Ren wasn't even in his room? Hux could override the door code to check. If Ren wasn't there, he'd have his answer, and if he was… Well, Hux had weathered his tantrums before. He certainly wasn't scared of facing one more.

Tapping in the override code, he waited for the system to engage and the door to finally open. The room beyond was dim, lit only by a thin strip of lighting near the ceiling. Calling Ren's room "quarters" was a bit of an understatement. He had requested the limited space when he was first positioned on the Finalizer, something about the minimalistic arrangement aiding his focus on the Force. A desk stood to one side of the room, the console set into the wall above it and a standard issue chair set at it, and beyond that the ever-present pedestal of ashes upon which Vader's helmet sat. the door to the refresher was directly across from where Hux stood, but it was closed. The bed stood in the shadows of the right back corner, and Hux approached it slowly. He could see now that Ren was there indeed, curled on his side on the bed fully clothed, his helmet beside him, and apparently deep asleep.

Hux tried to settle his worry by telling himself that of course Ren hadn't noticed him, he was _asleep_ and you couldn't very well use the Force when you were asleep. Whether that was true or not, Hux didn't know, but it helped quell some of his misgivings. He should have left then, seeing that Ren was incapable of discussing anything, but he'd come so far he might as well take the moment to look at him. It wasn't often that he'd seen the face behind the mask, and once again he was struck by how different Ren looked without the black metal and glistening chrome hiding him. His was not exactly handsome face, much like the rest of him it was a bit ungainly, awkward. There was potential there, but not much follow through. And now there was a scar angling across it, though Hux could only see the edge of it where it extended over the bridge of his nose and slightly over his left eye. Even with the scar, Ren looked somewhat younger than he was, almost innocent. Hux had only ever seen his face when his eyes were filled with rage, features contorted with the depth of it, or when he was… No, Hux preferred not to think of how he had looked on Starkiller, covered in blood and with fear flooding his eyes. He preferred the view he had now, quiet and somewhat serene. It was hard to believe someone with moods as mercurial as Ren could ever be this peaceful.

Hux wanted to reach out, touch him, confirm for himself that this was indeed the man and not some strange hallucination. He caught himself before he did it, pulled his hand back and stepped away from the bed. Ren hadn't moved, and Hux thanked whatever forces controlled the fates for that. Tearing his gaze away he padded softly out of the room and closed the door, locking it behind him.

The reports continue to come in over the following months, the oddities and incidents on various missions where Ren was involved slowly becoming a list long enough that Hux could barely keep up with it between his other duties. He'd continued pushing Ren onto the missions, hoping to avoid further confrontations on board the Finalizer while also ensuring the success of their campaign, but he couldn't help but wonder what it was doing to the morale of his troops.

Ren's rages, his destruction of property, his callous manner and his fickle temper were all something the crew and troops of the Finalizer had gotten used to over the years. All tangible, all _real_ , even with regards to his Force powers he was regarded as merely another commanding officer, someone to be respected but someone still very much human. The crew used to place bets on when _Lord Ren_ would have another tantrum and what it was he would destroy next (Hux had secretly joined such a pool several times). The Stormtroopers used to share stories about Ren as if their experiences somehow granted them better status among their fellows - _once I saw Ren raise a man four feet off the ground by his neck using nothing but the Force - well I saw him stop a blaster bolt in mid air!_ \- but now they rarely spoke of him at all. If they did it was in hushed whispers, with wary glances over their shoulders, huddled together in corners of the corridors.

Hux hadn't heard their talk for himself, but the informants he placed among their ranks painted a disconcerting picture. The changes Hux had seen in Ren were only becoming more apparent, the oddities that Phasma had first brought his attention only growing. Ren disappearing from the shuttle as they traveled, unable to be found by any of the crew until they'd landed; enemies found fallen without a mark after he'd faced them; _entire squadrons_ losing time on the battlefield, coming upon enemy forces earlier than expected or finding themselves at their objective sooner than planned when accompanied by Ren. Ren moving like a ghost, Stormtroopers swearing they'd seen him disappear before their eyes only to reappear elsewhere a moment later.

Captain Phasma worked hard to quell rumors and keep her troops focused on reality, but she'd brought back several troubling reports herself. At this point Hux had to accept the fact that something was going on with Ren, something that he couldn't understand.

The thought was frustrating for him, he despised it, despised not knowing. He'd finally come to somewhat understand the Force, and now this had come along. Was it an evolution of Ren's powers? And was Ren even aware of what he did? Correlation so often did not mean causation, but Hux saw no other way to explain what was happening. It had to be Ren, and he resolved to speak to the man about it as soon as he had returned from the latest reconnaissance trip. It was a simple mission, and Ren had been highly annoyed when Hux informed him he was assigned to it. He'd made it quite clear he considered it beneath him, but Hux needed some time without Ren to try and figure out the oddities that had been occurring. It took several arguments and Hux pulling rank before Ren had finally relented. He'd been getting highly testy and chafing at the chains of command laid on him recently; Snoke had made Jr apparent that Ren was at the disposal of Hux and his council and it obviously did not sit well with the knight. Hux was grateful that at least this time he hadn't destroyed something before he left as a sign if his displeasure.

"Sir, a ship has just exited hyperspace beside us."

Hux snapped to attention, and walked over to the officer's console. She tapped at controls, bringing up the view from the side cameras.

"It… It seems to be Kylo Ren's shuttle, sir."

It certainly was. Hux stared flabbergasted at the sight in the screen - they had only left a few hours earlier to their objective, even if they had turned straight around as soon as they'd arrived, the time was too short.

"Have they sent any communications?" Hux asked.

"Negative, sir. We've made several attempts ourselves but there has been no response." The officer looked at him, Hux could plainly see her unease. "The engines are cut, sir."

"Have the dock crew recover the ship," Hux said after a moment's thought, "I will go down to inspect the ship myself. Make sure no one touches it until I arrive."

"Yes, sir."

Hux turned and left the officer to relay his orders. His mind was already spinning with various thoughts, trying to find a reason that would explain the ships reappearance. Nothing made sense about it, and his mind kept returning to that growing list of oddities that occurred when Ren was involved. _Sometimes he'd disappear and no one could find him…_ Hux tried to silence the disquiet that set his pulse pounding. There was no sense making any wild guesses, he'd have his answer when he entered the ship and inspected it himself. No sense worrying about what he'd find…

He arrived at the dock just as Ren's shuttle settled to the floor. It sat, silent and dark and elegant and exuding an unsettling aura that Hux could nearly see as he approached. At Hux's request a tech lowered the shuttle's ramp, and Hux entered, several Stormtrooper's at his back.

The air within the shuttle was chilly and smelled stale. The only lighting was the emergency strips near the floor and ceiling, bathing everything in eerie pale blue light. Hux wasn't sure why but everything seemed somewhat hazy, as if every corner and contour were edged with white noise. The silence was deafening.

He found the first body just inside the ramp, the Stormtrooper laying on their back, limbs splayed unnaturally. He stepped over it, placing his foot carefully to avoid stepping on the second, found the third body curled up against the seats further along. The rest of the crew lay scattered throughout the ship's interior, some propped against the wall of the corridor, one slumped over the gunner's console. The air became colder the further inside he went, and though the unrest within him rose with each step he found he his steps hesitant. Was Ren on the ship? Hux wasn't sure how he would react if he was, if he wasn't.

His question was answered when he entered the cockpit. The pilot lay slumped back in their chair, limbs stiff and head thrown back. The second seat was occupied by Ren.

For a short, horrifying moment Hux thought he was dead.

His breath caught as he approached, and his steps quickening. Ren was slumped forward, his forehead resting against the controls before him and one of his hands clutching the ship's control stick. He didn't seem to be breathing. With some trepidation, Hux reached out a hand and touched it to Ren's shoulder.

His heart nearly stopped when the man jerked upright suddenly, falling back in the chair. He breathed then, ragged and heavy breaths.

"Ren?" Hux ventured, watching the man carefully. There was no response, he remained as he was, and Hux tried again, this time with more force, "Ren."

Ren shuddered, slowly his head turned to face Hux.

"Where…?" He breathed after a moment, his voice barely above a whisper.

"You are back on the Finalizer." Hux said, "What happened?"  
"What… happened…" Ren repeated slowly. He sounded as if he were in a daze, his head kept dipping as if he had trouble holding it up.

"On the ship, Ren," Hux couldn't contain the impatience that edged into his tone. "What happened here?"

"What happened?" Ren said, somewhat faster than before, but his voice was still laboured. "Something… happened?"  
"Yes, something hap-" Hux cut himself off, realizing it was useless. Ren didn't seem to be understanding, he lay limply in the chair as if the energy had been drained of him.

"Come, we can talk once we get out of here." Hux said, somewhat more sharply than he'd meant to. The atmosphere of the ship was heavy, it felt like a weight was crushing him from all sides.

It took a moment for Ren to respond, and when he did it was slowly and with obvious effort. Bracing himself against the chair's armrests he pushed himself to his feet and stood for a long moment, wavering slightly. He looked to Hux finally, as if waiting for direction.

"You need to go to the medical bay," Hux said.

"No." Ren's answer, if somewhat slow coming, was firm and resolute.

"There's obviously something wrong with you," Hux snapped, "You need to be seen by the medical staff."

Ren cocked his head, almost as if he were listening to something.

"No," He repeated firmly, and with staggering step brushed past Hux, "I will… return to my quarters…"

Irritation, and worry, rising, Hux followed after him, deciding on how best to drag the uncooperative imbecile to the medical bay. It shouldn't be difficult, Ren seemed to be supremely wearied, moving agonizingly slow and slightly off kilter. Hux was thankful the Stormtroopers who'd followed him onto the ship had managed to remove the bodies by then, Ren would never have been able to maneuver around them in his current state. He was barely able to maneuver down the empty corridor in a straight line, and Hux stayed step-in-step with him on the descent down the ramp, worried that the man might fall over his own feet.

"Tell the medical crew to run every test they have on the bodies," Hux ordered the officer that had waited outside the ship, "And have a crew inspect the shuttle. I want the reports immediately as soon as they are available."

Not waiting for confirmation, Hux turned back to Ren. The other man had not gotten far, and Hux overtook him quickly. Deciding against arguing, Hux instead merely walked alongside him, keeping pace with his lethargic steps. Ren would have to use the lift, and once they were on it Hux would make sure they exited at the correct level. Hux couldn't imagine what had happened on the shuttle, but what had killed the crew might still be affecting Ren, and he wouldn't have the man dying because of something that could very well be treated.

Fate would have it that there would be people in every corridor they entered, watching with curious and somewhat wary gazes as they passed. Hux was acutely aware of how strange it must look, the normally imposing and kinetic figure of Ren now slumped and shuffling, swaying on his feet. He didn't want to hear the chatter that would no doubt follow. Thankfully, no one boarded the lift with them, and as the doors closed Hux reached out to select the medical level. Ren shifted in his periphery, and his hand was quite suddenly on Hux's wrist. It merely lay on his arm with the slightest of pressures, and Ren stayed silent except for his ragged breathing, but Hux's hand began to shake slightly. Something touched him, something like the Force but darker than what he'd experienced before. It was gone before he could focus on it, leaving only a vague sense of unease. He should be taking Ren to the medical bay… but instead his hand lifted and selected a higher level where the crew's private quarters were located. Ren's hand withdrew.

Hux was certain he was making a mistake, but there was a fear rising in the back of his mind. Maybe there was something wrong with Ren indeed, something irreparable. Maybe he'd only degrade from this point on, getting worse with each passing day. The thought was chilling, that Ren could prove so mortal. Hux wasn't sure he'd be able to handle such news; he hadn't realized how tightly he'd clung to the idea that Ren would return to his former self, to something familiar. He would prefer a dozen reports of wrecked rooms and terrified crew members over the knowledge that Ren was no longer himself.

Faced by Ren in such a state, Hux found the flimsy hold he'd had on his emotions breaking away. They tore free from the back of his mind once again, nearly overwhelming him, and as the concern in him rose he felt powerless to stop it. He'd never seen the other man so helpless. Ren was power, he might not have control but he had poise at least, he had _presence_. It was one of the things that had drawn Hux's attention, and kept it despite how much he loathed the man's chaotic tendencies. It almost hurt, seeing Ren stumbling down the corridor, placing each step with exaggerated care and yet swaying with each movement.

Hux couldn't stand the thought of even more people seeing him like this, he finally grabbed Ren by the arm and began helping him along so they could move faster. They made it to his quarters eventually, Hux nearly shaking, Ren breathing hard.

Overriding the door code, Hux allowed Ren to enter first, following a moment later.

Ren stood a few steps inside the store for a very long moment, head turning slowly as he looked around himself. Hux held back, allowing him the time to take in his surroundings. He didn't know how to help him, how to reach him, what to do to bring him back. His powerlessness in the situation disturbed him.

"Where…?" Ren asked after a long moment, sounding disoriented.

"It's… it's your room, Ren." Hux said, fighting to keep his voice from shaking. He couldn't understand what was wrong, he didn't want this to be happening. This was not Ren, this was not how they interacted. It was all wrong.

"Mine." Ren said slowly, and took a staggering step towards the desk. He lay his hands on the surface gently, ran his fingers along the edge of it as if he were trying to get the feel of it. After a moment he pulled his hands back, then raised them to his helmet. Removing it, he lowered it with exaggerated care on the desk top. Hux could see his face then, see the way his eyes seemed in constant uncontrollable flicker. There was a thin line of blood streaking from the corner of his mouth to his chin. Hux fought back the urge to step up to him, struggled to remain standing where he was as he watched the other man.

Somewhat steadier now that he'd removed the helmet, Ren had turned his attention to the rest of the room. He approached the pedestal, touched the ashes with a finger and lay his hand on the helmet resting upon them, brow furrowing in what seemed to be deep concentration. Nodding to himself, he moved away slowly and turned again, eyes roving the bare walls.

"Ren," Hux said, and this time his voice did shake. He gave the man time to react, tried to compose himself. Ren turned to face him lethargically, swaying slightly on his feet.

"General," He breathed with a hint of sarcasm, but his face remained somewhat impassive.

That's a good sign, Hux told himself. Ren only called him that when he was trying to irritate him. It had to be a good sign, he wouldn't take it as anything less.

"What happened?" Hux asked, slowly in case Ren's cognition was as delayed as his movements.

"What… something happened?" Ren asked, looking puzzled. He seemed unable to focus completely on Hux, his eyes kept flickering off to the sides.

"On the mission, Ren," Hux said, fighting his impatience, "On your ship."

Ren raised a hand to his head, touched his temple gingerly. He shook his head, but didn't respond.

"What happened to the men, Ren?" Hux pushed onwards. He tried to tell himself the roil in his gut was irritation that soldiers had been lost and the mission a failure and not the pain of seeing Ren in such a state. "Why are they dead?"

"What?" Ren's eye focused on him then, widening in shock. He stumbled back a step, caught himself with a hand on the pedestal. "Dead?"

"Yes." Hux forced himself to breathe, forced himself to sound like the commanding officer he was. "Dead, Ren."

"No." Ren's voice was low, toneless.

"What happened?" Hux pressed again.

"I… I don't know," Ren responded. His words came faster, he seemed to be coming out of his stupor somewhat. His eyes still flickered uncomfortably, however, and he shifted on his feet as if he couldn't find his balance.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Hux asked.

"I don't remember," Ren said, and Hux could see something like fear in his eyes. "I don't remember coming back."

"You were at the controls," Hux said firmly. Ren shook his head.

"No, I don't… I can't remember," His voice held a note of panic. "I can't…"  
"Something must have happened, something that resulted in the deaths, your loss of memory," Hux spoke more to himself than to Ren, desperate to find some real and logical explanation.

"We made it on location…" Ren said in a hushed, desperate tone. "The scouts gathered information, we… we made contact with our informant and we returned…"  
"What are you talking about?" Hux snapped, frustration sharpening his tone, "How could you have? You'd barely left!"

"What?" Ren was shaking, Hux could see it clearly. Cold dread was coiling within the swarm of emotion in Hux's mind.

"You left four hours ago," He choked out.

The fear in Ren's eyes became outright terror. His face blanched, his legs trembled violently.

"No." He breathed, but it didn't seem to be directed at Hux. He was not seeing him, Hux realized. His eyes were unfocused, pupils suddenly dilated ridiculously. He stumbled In place, hand gripping tightly at the pedestal's edge to keep from falling. Hux couldn't control himself, he stepped forward and caught Ren by the shoulders, held him up when it seemed he might collapse.

"Something must have happened," Hux said, firmly keeping himself at nearly an arm's length despite every fiber of his body screaming for him to haul Ren closer, to hold him until his body stopped shaking and the terror in his eyes faded. "A gas leak, possibly. Maybe you only imagined the mission, loss of oxygen can do that…"

His words didn't seem to help, Ren continued shaking like a windblown leaf under his touch. Hux couldn't take much more of it, he was becoming desperate in all the wrong ways. He should have forced Ren to the medical bay, he wouldn't have had to deal with the pain of seeing him like this. Broken, weakened, terrified - he was nearly unrecognizable. Hux needed to leave before his traitorous emotions made him do something he'd regret later.

"Get some rest," Hux said almost desperately, pushing Ren gently towards his bed. "We can discuss this later."

'I'm sorry," Ren muttered, sounding dazed again, eyes wandering. His hands found Hux's on his shoulders. "I'm sorry. I've made you worry… but I don't know how to… I don't know..."

He sat on the bed heavily, but didn't release his hold on Hux's hands. He tried to meet Hux's eyes but Hux avoided his gaze, biting his tongue to keep from responding. He couldn't tell anymore if it was Ren or his own hands that shook.

"Please stay," Ren's voice was full of trepidation, his hold on Hux's hands tightened. "Please… It's better when you're here… I can sense… your emotions, it helps… Knowing someone cares…"

Hux stiffened, a jolt of panic coursing through him. Ren couldn't mean what Hux thought he did, he couldn't, but his words sent Hux reeling back from a boundary he'd come very close to crossing. Firmly, albeit gently, he disentangled his hands from Ren's grasp.

"I have matters to take care of," He said as coolly as he could manage, ignoring the pain that came from seeing the fear rise in Ren's eyes again. "I must go."  
"No, please," Ren reached a hand out after him as he backed away. "Please. Everything is… I can't feel things right yet, I can't… don't go. Don't go. I can ground better when you're here…"

Hux nearly stayed; if seeing Ren weakened and stumbling was a shock, hearing him plead for help practically tore him apart. Buffeted by emotion, he could barely stand himself, but he couldn't allow himself to act on it. Sentiment had no place in the world of war, he forced himself to remember. He would not lose himself to emotion, not when so much depended on him keeping focused in the big picture. No, he'd done enough damage to himself that day.

Without another word he turned and left the room, regret following close behind.

Autopsy reports showed nothing strange about the bodies recovered from the ship. Toxicity screenings were negative, and no signs of injury could be found. All were in peak health and condition. By all accounts it looked like an entire squadron of men and women merely ceased to _be alive_ without any explanation.

Techs were able to recover the ship's flight data, which confirmed Ren's account - the hyperspace jump to the planet, the stay there, a d the beginning of the jump back were all dutifully documented. The system shut off some ten seconds into the return jump and techs were unable to recover any more of it. All information gathered by scouts and taken from the informants proved to be accurate.

Curiously, the clean up crew noticed a peculiar slime-like residue in various spots of the shuttle. Analysis was inconclusive; it's make up matched nothing in their records.

Hux managed to avoid unnecessary interactions with Ren the following weeks. The man had recovered from the shuttle incident in record speed, returning to what had become _normal_ by the next day, and Hux had felt like idiot about how he'd overreacted. He resolved to never again let his feelings get the best of him as they had, and kept his distance from Ren to keep from being tempted down that path again. There were more than enough things to keep him busy, in any case, and deciding to keep Ren from assisting on any further missions to forgo any similar incidents as the last cut the chance of having to speak with him even further. While it suited Hux just fine, the arrangement seemed to irritate Ren. For several days after the ill-fated mission he had taken to following Hux around the ship as he made his rounds, always keeping his distance but always obviously _there,_ looming in Hux's peripheral vision. _Existing_. When it became obvious that Hux was ignoring him completely, acknowledging him only when absolutely necessary, Ren had gotten somewhat more blatant with his irritation. Hux had nearly gotten an aneurysm when, upon walking into his preferred conference room to prepare for the day's meeting, he found it wrecked, the tell tale slashes criss-crossing the main console still glowing red hot at the edges. It had taken every ounce of self-control to keep himself from tracking Ren down and personally pushing him out an open airlock.

When even that failed to draw a suitable reaction, Ren finally drew back and Hux was granted some respite. He would have prefered that it last indefinitely, but as all good things it had to come to an end. Resistance forces had occupied a First Order outpost on Marat V and were staging attacks on First Order forces on the ground. That morning's council meeting had decided unanimously to send additional troops to Marat V to liberate the outpost; Captain Phasma was to lead the expedition, and she had requested that Ren accompany them. The rest of the officers and lieutenants agreed.

Ren, of course, was not at the meeting.

Hux cursed under his breath as he sent another message to Ren's com unit, and yet again was denied a connection. He'd much rather have relegated the matter of finding Ren and informing him of his assignment to someone else. He doubted he'd find anyone willing to do it; he'd thought the officers and crew were suitably uneasy of Ren when he was having rages and using the Force for no reason on innocent bystanders, but it seemed that his sudden withdrawal from the workings of the ship, effectively becoming a ghost within its corridors, had turned that unease into outright fear. The rumors that troopers had been losing time when Ren passed, that electrical equipment occasionally shorted when he was near, that strange sounds could be heard emanating from his room at times didn't help matters.

Hux was of the opinion that the rumors were just that, rumors, exaggerations, _paranoia_. Nothing tangible, and nothing that could be proven. And if Hux had, on passing Ren's room, occasionally heard something like a multitude of hushed voices or distant roars behind the door, well, he had no idea what Ren did in his room. Anything was possible.

And yet a shudder ran down his spine when he realized he'd have to search Ren out to alert him to his assignment. For one, ridiculous moment he thought of _not_ doing so, of letting the matter slip and placing the blame on Ren for missing the notifications. Then he thought of how it would look, the _General_ being unable to handle those under his command (and Ren _was_ under his command, Hux reminded himself, no matter how he tried to act he wasn't). Hux's pride wouldn't allow that.

So he set his jaw and set off through the Finalizer in search of Ren. He had an idea where to look, his insufferable _sentiment_ had collected a multitude of mostly useless facts about the man over the years. Some, however, would come in handy in odd moments, such as right then. Having checked that Ren had not activated his room's door recently, and knowing he was not prone to wandering the ship as extensively of late as he had once been, Hux was relatively certain where the man had gone. He took a lift to one of the higher levels and walked down the port side corridor. There were observation rooms set on both sides of the ship, to be used by the crew and troopers for rest and relaxation during free time. Hux had made use of them himself in the past, before his workload intensified. Now he found that they had continued to be utilized by the Finalizer's occupants, each room he passed contained several people either enjoying the view or socializing. Hux was pleased to see the rooms were being put to good use; he required discipline from his troops, but not at the expense of personal health. Stressed and unhappy soldiers were useless to the First Order; they made mistakes, they acted out, they caused far more problems than they helped to correct.

Just look at Ren, Hux thought bitterly.

The man wasn't on the port side, and Hux began checking through the rooms on the starboard side in succession. The first few were filled, but he could tell on approach that the third room would be the one he was searching for. Visually the entrance look no different from the rest, a double sized transparent door set into a bright red frame, but Hux did not need to look inside to see he was correct in his assumption. Even a few feet away he could _feel_ the dark aura permeating the air, thickening it and almost making it palpable. It gave him no pause, he'd experienced the weight of the Force when Ren was in one of his moods before, and he strode up to the doorway purposefully. The doors parted, and he entered the dimly lit room with measured steps. The air seemed even thicker inside, he could practically feel it coating him as he moved through it. He grimaced slightly, he'd never quite _liked_ the feel of it, and approached Ren where he stood at the large viewing window.

"What do you want?" Ren spoke before Hux could turning his head slightly in his direction. His tone might have been flat, but Hux could practically feel the air writhe around him. That was new, and unexpected. It felt tangible, as if the air itself was twisting around him in coils. Hux stopped his approach, stiffening to keep from showing the uncertainty he suddenly felt tremble through his mind.

"You have an assignment." Hux said crisply. Ren laughed sharply.

"Do I?" He turned to face Hux fully. The air writhed again.

"Captain Phasma has requested your assistance on a mission to recapture an outpost on Marat V." Hux resisted the temptation to shift his stance as the air around him continued to act like a living thing. If this was an evolution of Ren's power, another method he'd found to intimidate others, Hux would just have to show him that it was ineffective against him. He refused to give him that satisfaction.

"And so I should snap to attention and join the ranks…" Ren growled. The cadence of his voice was strange, the modulator had always made it sound slightly mechanical but now there was a chiller edge to it that Hux couldn't recognize.

"You might turn your communicator on while you're at it," Hux added irritably.

"I did _not_ want to be disturbed." Ren's voice deepened, the writhing in the air - if Hux had thought it tangible before it was practically _real_ now. Ren's fists clenched, and in the moment right after Hux caught a flicker of… _something_ race around the border of his body. Hux was reminded of frost on a window, filigree crackling, but it was gone before he could focus on it again. He could barely breathe in the thickened air, his mind was ringing in low-level panic and he couldn't understand from what. In his vision there was nothing to fear; Ren, a dim lit room, the spread of stars outside the window. He'd been in similar situations before and they'd never drawn such a reaction. Visually there was nothing to be concerned over, but all his senses were screaming as the air around him continued to writhe, and Hux began to wonder if the rumours he'd dismissed so easily didn't have some truth to them after all.

"The forces leave at 1500 hours," He snapped, did his voice come out strained? "and you will be accompanying them."

"I will _not_ be ordered around like one of your infantry," Ren snarled. The flicker around him came again, stronger, and this time Hux could clearly see the crackling as it spread from the edges of Ren's body, ghostly white yet vivid in the dimness of the room.

"1500 hours, Ren," Hux said with as much authority as he could muster as his senses began to go haywire with panic. He turned smartly on his heel and headed back for the door, pausing only to add over his shoulder, "And this time, do try to bring the men back _alive_."

The air cracked dangerously, intense as a physical thunderclap. Hux could feel the heat of it raise drastically in a matter of seconds. He kept his focus on the door, _only a few steps left_ , he would not let Ren intimidate him, not now. But the rage in the air was very real, and it manifested so vastly different than ever before that Hux very nearly faltered before reaching the corridor. He half expected Ren to truly use the Force, to drag him back by the neck as he had done to so many of the ship's crew. He used to, in the beginning. Hux didn't know what had changed, why the man had stopped, but he hoped that Ren had not decided the time to start again was _right then_. He was certain he wouldn't be able to keep his composure if he did.

Ren did not stop him, and Hux exited into the corridor with a sense that he'd just stepped out of a sarlacc's pit. Nodding curtly to a couple of troopers who came to attention as he passed, he headed for the lift. He managed to keep his head until he entered, but once aboard, and alone, he started to shake uncontrollably, his breath quickening as His body gave in to the panic that had swamped it in the room. He couldn't understand it, the reaction was visceral, uncontrollable, he could not keep himself calm no matter how hard he tried. The terror was real, he couldn't stop thinking of how tangible Ren's anger had been, how it had coiled around him much heavier than ever before. He reminded himself, over and over, that he'd faced down Ren before, that the man had never really shown a penchant for violence towards him, but none of that mattered to the deep, primal depths of his brain. His subconscious was terrified, and he knew not of _what_.

The reports came in regularly. As far as Hux could tell, the operation on Marat V was progressing well, with limited casualties on the side of the First Order. The forces on the ground had been directed to keep intact as many buildings as possible to lessen the need to rebuild them, however, and their progress in recapturing the outpost was slow.

Seventeen hours after the first wave attacked, the outpost was back in the hands of the First Order. Losses were estimated to cap at fifteen percent, a full ten points below their projection, and the forces had captured a number of Resistance personnel. The mission was a resounding success, and it was with a tremendous sense of satisfaction that Hux finally retired to his quarters. He'd waited long enough to make sure the first returning ships had docked before leaving the bridge, and while he was no stranger to pulling multiple shifts without break a near twenty four stress filled hours without rest were beginning to take a toll on him. He entered the lift with the pleasant thought of getting a full eight hours in bed.

Thoughts of a blissfully long sleep vanished from his mind the moment he stepped off the lift. Even at half a corridor away the noises were audible, low garbled voices and strange growling that echoed down the space towards him. The lights of the corridor flickered ominously, casting dancing shadows along the walls. Slowly Hux headed down the corridor, the noises growing louder as he went. He wasn't surprised to find that they originated from Ren's room, and though the noises had made him somewhat uneasy, it was the blood stains on the floor before it that brought worry cutting deep through him. Ren was obviously back, and he was apparently injured.

The sounds continued, harsh screams interjecting now and then between the growls and voices. Hux thought he could recognize Ren's voice in the clamor, and his pulse began to pound wildly. The door before him shuddered every few moments, as if buffeted by strong winds. Something clattered loudly to the floor inside, it's clamor accompanied by another round of screams. What was happening inside, he couldn't imagine. It was with trepidation that he lifted his hand to the door pad, fingers shaking as he punched in the override code.

There was a click as the door disengaged, and it slid open with a hiss.

Silence met him. The lights inside the room were on, but they flickered rapidly, making everything seem quite surreal. There were bloody footprints before him, smeared across the floor leading towards the dark figure standing at the opposite end of the room. It had to be Ren, he stood with his back towards the door, but Hux recognized him - his hair, his broad shoulders, the silhouette. Still, something about the man seemed strange, it was as if Hux couldn't quite focus on his form. The lines of his body were blurred and indistinct. The whole situation was once again setting Hux's mind into a low-level panic. He'd truly thought he was made of harder stuff than this, but he couldn't ignore the tremulous turmoil of his mind. Still, he'd made the decision to enter, and he wouldn't turn back now. Moving slowly, Hux stepped carefully around Ren's robes where the man had discarded them just inside the door. The door slid shut with another hiss, and Ren's shoulders jerked at the sound, his head turning slightly towards the door.

"You…" His voice was breathless and hoarse, and unmistakably angry. Hux licked suddenly-dry lips and straightened his back.

"You're injured-" He began, only to be interrupted by a nearly inhuman growl from Ren as the man spun around to face him. He was very suddenly cast in sharp clarity, Hux hadn't realized just how indistinct his form had been before that moment. Shirtless, blood streaking his chest and arms, eyes wide with rage, Ren looked positively feral.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Ren snarled. Hux could feel the air pulsing with heat, something like the scent of ozone and sulphur suddenly permeating it.

"You should go to the medical bay." Hux continued calmly.

"NO!" Ren cried out, and suddenly the air was a physical thing, grabbing at him and holding him fast. The next moment he was shoved, as if a gigantic hand had pushed him back, and he hit the door hard enough to knock the wind out of him. The panic in his mind rose drastically, clouding his mind with thoughts of fleeing. He couldn't move for a long moment, pressed up against the unyielding metal at his back by the unseen force.

"No, no..." Ren stumbled back, hands gripping at his head, his voice nearing a wail. "No, I didn't mean… I didn't mean to do that…"

The force pressing against Hux released him, and he sagged back against the door to avoid falling to his knees. He gasped for breath, pressed his hands flat against the door to keep them from shaking. Overhead the lights ceased flickering and settled into a regular glow. Ren still stood with his hands on his head, giving Hux a pitiful look, his eyes sadly apologetic.

"I didn't mean to do that, Hux," He said, voice wavering.

"I can see you're frustrated," Hux rasped out before his breath was fully restored, he needed to speak and keep his mind distracted from thoughts of flight, "But that is no reason to be bleeding out all over your room. We have a perfectly capable medical facility for these sorts of things."  
"No," Ren growled, shaking his head viciously. He paced, his hands dropping to his sides and fists clenching. "I don't need it."

"You're obviously injured." Hux said. Now that the lights weren't flickering could see several pieces of shrapnel embedded in Ren's arms, a particularly large piece jutting out from the right side of his chest. "You need medical attention."

Ren laughed, it bordered on maniacal. With a swift and decisive movement he grasped one of the pieces sticking out of his arm and ripped it out. Hux jerked forward, horrified, as Ren did the same to a second on the same arm, then a third on the other, tossing the metal aside as he did so.

"Stop that! Are you insane?" Hux cried out desperately. Ren shot him a severe look, then lifted a hand and grasped at the large piece in his chest.

"Don't! Hux cried out, panicked with worry. Was Ren trying to kill himself? What had come over him? Hux couldn't take the situation much more, seeing Ren bleeding out (again) was too much for his mind to handle at the moment. Between everything else that had happened it threatened to fully dismantle any control he still grasped..

For a moment Ren watched him, face unreadable. Slowly, his hand lowered to his side, but Hux found he couldn't find relief in the movement. There was something in Ren's eyes, something too sharp, that kept him from relaxing.

"Come here." Ren spoke almost softly. The difference in his tone from mere moments before was jarring.

"What?" Hux asked, voice cracking. He was shaking by then, his entire body shuddering.

"Come here, Hux." Ren said, and the way he said Hux's voice was almost gentle, familiar. Somehow, among the chaos of the previous moments Hux found it comforting. Steadying himself, he walked over to Ren and stopped just before him. The wound looked much worse up close, the shrapnel a nasty piece of twisted metal that had embedded itself deeply into the muscles of Ren's breast. Hux could see the blood still pooling around its ragged edges, rivulets slowly running down the skin.

"Here," Ren said, and he reached out and grabbed Hux's hand. With gentle force, he lifted it and placed his fingers on the piece of metal. "You do it."  
"You _are_ mad." Hux said in disbelief. He tried to pull his hand away but Ren's grip tightened, he pulled back so hard that Hux stumbled another pace closer. Hux gritted his teeth, growled, "I won't. Now let go."

"Do it." Ren said, his voice breathless, eyes strangely bright. His pressed Hux's hand to the metal again, and added, "Do it, and I'll go down to the medical bay."  
Hux eyed him warily, his gaze fell back to the shrapnel.

"Or don't do it," Ren continued evenly, "And I'll do it myself and _won't_ go to the medical bay."

"What has gotten into you?" Hux breathed. His mind whirled with too much emotion, too much concern and fear and now irritation added itself to the mix. Must Ren always be so disgustingly incapable of behaving like a rational being?

Ren stayed silent, his eyes holding Hux's gaze, and despite his misgivings Hux realized he had no choice. If he didn't want Ren to bleed out and collapse, possibly die, he would have to do what was asked of him. Stiffly, he curled his fingers around the edge of the metal. His breath was coming fast, he felt somewhat lightheaded from it all. The metal was cool even through his glove. Gritting his teeth, he braced his other hand on Ren's chest next to the wound. Ren let go of his wrist then, and Hux adjusted his grip on the piece of metal. With one, strong movement he tore the shrapnel out of Ren's chest. The sound nearly did him in, the wet squelch as the metal left the confines of flesh, the splatter of blood hitting the floor beneath. For the first time in his life Hux found himself getting queasy in the presence of blood and wounds, his head beginning to spin from the metallic scent permeating the air so strongly. He tried not to focus on the mass of blood that poured from the deep, dark hole in Ren's chest once the metal was removed, thick and dark and streaming down The front of his body.

"There." Hux gasped. "That… that needs a compress. Perhaps a towel."

Ren said nothing, his eyes still focused on Hux's face.

"You have towels in the refresher, yes? We should get pressure on that…" Hux realized he was beginning to babble. He moved a step, but Ren caught him by the arm and pulled him back. Still, he was silent, and Hux was losing patience. "Ren, let go! You _must_ get down to the medical bay before you lose too much bl-"

Hux's voice choked into silence. He'd glanced at the wound, how could he avoid it, and the sight of it stopped him cold. It wasn't the blood, but rather the lack of it. The lack of _more_ of it. The stream had stopped, no more red welled along the edges. Even as he watched, the very outer parts of the wound began to shudder, began to stretch out in thin strings over the gaping hole. The strings connected ike spiderweb, swelled to cover any opening, and in moments where there had been a wound there was only the smooth expanse of untouched skin.

"How…" Hux breathed, "How did you do that?"

"I don't know." Ren admitted quietly. Hux looked at him, saw the faint hint of uncertainty in his eyes.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Hux asked incredulously. "It's a Force power, isn't it? It must be..."

Ren didn't respond; for a moment he only looked at Hux somewhat distantly, then he turned and walked away to the refresher. Hux watched him go, watched the door slide closed behind him, all the while feeling like his knees might give out at any moment and he would end up sprawled on Ren's floor. Slowly he backed up against the desk, leaning against it as he carefully peeled the gloves off of his hands. He placed them on the desktop and tried to get his mind to stop whirling. He could hear the sound of running water from beyond the refresher door.

By the time Ren returned he had a somewhat better grasp on himself. He no longer shook, at least, and his knees no longer threatened to give out. Still, he couldn't fight the rising concern as Ren reappeared. He was horribly pale, moved somewhat slowly.

"What's going on with you?" Hux asked.

"It's an... Evolution, I suppose." Ren answered. He swayed slightly on his feet, looking dazed.

"Sit down, you look like you're about to pass out," Hux said sharply. Ren eyed him uneasily, but moved to sit on the edge of his bed.

"What do you mean, an 'evolution'? Hux asked. Ren looked at the wall across from him, leaning his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands.

"The Supreme Leader was very… unhappy…" Ren began, his voice low and somewhat toneless. "And the new training he proposef was somewhat… extreme. In order to fulfill the demands I had to descend further into the depths of the Force…"

He sighed deeply, his voice taking on a somewhat peaceful tone, "So deep. It takes time from you, when you get past a certain point. Hours fade into days before you realize it… But there is _so much_ there, so much knowledge and so much potential."

"It's obvious your powers have grown," Hux said during the pause, "They've become a bit… unsettling, to be honest."

Ren looked at him then, his face darkening. His hands clasped tightly in front if him,he stated at the ground for a moment before speaking again.

"Meditation is lonely," His voice had an odd edge to it. "It's a very personal, solitary thing… but there comes a point, after you've gone deep enough, when the darkness around you becomes so substantial you forget what light is, and when you realize you… you aren't alone…"

Ren's shoulders shook slightly, he licked his lips and took a deep breath. Hux could feel his skin prickle as something in the air changed.

"There's… the darkness, it's not a… a concept anymore, I mean - It's still metaphysical, still very much not part of…" Ren's words trailed off, his hands detached to motion vaguely in the air. "The darkness isn't _formless_ anymore. _They_ are there."

"They?" Hux asked. He wasn't quite sure he was following Ren's words.

Ren bit his lip, glanced at Hux with something like trepidation in his eyes.

"Who are _they_?" Hux asked when Ren wasn't forthcoming with the information.

"They're not from here, Hux," Ren said in a hush. "... but they know _so much_ …"

"I'm not sure I'm following…" The tiredness, the stress, must have been catching up to him, Hux couldn't understand what Ren was getting at. Meditating into darkness, darkness having form, some unknown _they_ …

"Come here, sit down with me," Ren suddenly blurted out, his voice sounded desperate. Hux shot him a wary look, he couldn't help the uncertainty that rose in him.

"Please… I'm - I can't really feel things yet…" Ren said somewhat haltingly. "There's no definition…"

"What are you talking about?" Hux asked irritably. Ren didn't respond, only continued to look at him pleadingly. Hux would have preferred not to sit next to him, but he was far more tired than he'd realized and Ren's chair was nowhere to be seen. With an irritated sigh he sat down on the bed a suitable distance from Ren.

"...it's just better when you're around…" Ren said, looking over at him somewhat sadly. "I can ground better…"

"What does that even mean…" Hux muttered wearily, running a hand over his eyes.

"I know how you feel-"

"Stop." Hux said coldly, stiffening and shooting a glare at the wall across from him. He could feel Ren's eyes on him. He should have known better than to believe that a Force user had never picked up on those feelings.

"I'm not expecting anything," Ren said sullenly. His tone made it apparent he _had_ been.

"I'm going." Hux said coldly, making to rise, "I don't have time for this."

"Don't!"

Ren's hand was suddenly on his wrist, gripping it tightly and holding him back. Hux narrowed his eyes, looked at Ren with a scowl.

"Let go…" His voice was low, he was tired, all of it was far too much for him at the moment.

"Do you think you're the only one who feels it?" Ren asked, his eyes far too honest and open for Hux's liking.

"I'm going to ignore that," Hux hissed, attempting to free his hand, but Ren's hold was too strong. Pulling back on Hux's wrist again, Ren shifted closer to him on the bed, nearly eye-to-eye with Hux.

"I can't be asking for that much," He whimpered. His eyes were flickering again, as if he was having trouble focusing on anything. Hux could choke on the desperation that was leeching from him, could practically taste it. His already shaky resolve crumbled even further, he found himself suddenly feeling guilty for having tried to leave. Ren was obviously not quite right at the moment - he'd bled out far too much than should be healthy - was Hux _really_ going to leave him all alone?

"I'll stay," Hux said finally, expression softening. He tried to ignore the pang that ran through him at the sight of relief flooding Ren's eyes.

"Thank you," Ren said, and it was almost horrible to hear him say it, his voice weak and so grateful. Hux wanted him to be moody and surly, angry, cold, anything but as helpless and fragile as he looked right then. He could barely fight against the urge to touch him, to lay an arm across his shoulders and pull him tight, to feel that he was still so very much alive and so very much there, still so very _human_ despite everything that had happened.

 _Do you think you're the only one who feels it?_

Ren's hand shifted to hold his, wakening a tingle in it that surged up Hux's arm and into his core, and Hux felt the last of his resolve fade away. He knew he was lost.

Hux threw the datapad to the floor the moment he entered his quarters. It clattered loudly, releasing several discordant beeps before settling back into sleep mode. He paced the length of the front room viciously, undoing the first couple of buttons of his shirt to loosen the collar that felt tight as a noose around his neck.

 _How dare they!_ He fumed silently, teeth gritting as the meeting he'd just left replayed in his head. The audacity of the council, to insinuate that he needed _assistance_. And him, with no way of refusing without sounding pompous, without basically _begging_ them to demote him. They continued to hold the destruction of Starkiller Base over his head, and it seemed that nothing he and his forces did could pull them from the shadow of that failure.

Cursing, he stalked to his desk. The vintage blueprints for an _Executor_ -class Star Dreadnought lay open upon it, silvery lines gleaming upon the deep blue background. It was his favorite from his collection, and he hoped to steady his mind by looking over its familiar lines. Even that didn't help, however - he couldn't really focus on it, his mind kept turning back to the meeting and the wretched outcome.

 _Of all people, why did it have to be LtGen Gos?_

Gritting his teeth, he gathered up the blueprint and rolled it up carefully and slowly before sliding it snugly back into its container. He set it to rest on the holder with the other blueprints before heaving an irritated sigh. Running a hand through hair he had carefully brushed neat only a couple of hours earlier, he opened the cabinet above the desk and eyed the bottles that stood neatly inside. He hadn't had time or even the need to restock the liquor cabinet in a while, and all that was left was a second-rate whiskey and the dregs of some fruit liquor that he vaguely remembered as somewhat good but that now was congealed at the bottom of the bottle.

He took the whiskey and a glass out and closed the cabinet door. Pouring himself a liberal amount, he took a swig and nearly gagged at the bitter taste. Thoughts of LtGen Gos still tumbled to the forefront of his mind however, and with a scowl he downed the rest of the glass in one go.

Halfway through a third glass he found that nothing had changed, except that now he was freely cursing the LtGen out as he paced the room angrily. He wasn't needed on the bridge anytime soon, he told himself as he took another swig of the tongue-numbing liquor.

The console notified him that someone had requested entry to his room. Angrily, he strode over to the desk and rejected the request - he might just treat the person the way he'd love to treat the LtGen. The console notified him again before he'd even been able to take a step away, and again he rejected the request, the anger rising.

When the door slid open by itself, he reached levels of _livid_ he'd rarely reached before. He spun to face the intruder only to find that it was _Ren_. The dark clothed man strode in almost casually, stopped a few paces inside and watching Hux silently.

"You _dare_ force your way into my quarters?" Hux's voice was extremely close to shouting but he found he didn't care. Ren tilted his head slightly, he did that sometimes, and stepped closer.

"You had a bad day." Ren's response was simple, but Hux thought he could detect amusement hiding in his tone.

"Perceptive as always," Hux growled, "Did you have to use the Force to sense that? Your powers are nothing short of _astounding_."

"I assume the meeting did not go according to plan," Ren continued with that same even and slightly amused tone. Hux wanted to throw his glass at him but he took a sip instead. "Was there a problem that came up?"

Hux barked a laugh but didn't respond, falling back into pacing in front of his desk.

"Do you want me to remove the problem?" Ren asked, and this time instead of amusement his voice contained sincerity.

"The problem," Hux said, "The problem is that the council believes they know the capabilities - or rather, the lack of them - better than I do."

"Hm." Ren tilted his head again. "Should I remove them?"

Hux turned to face him puzzled, yet slightly amused, "Are you insinuating that you would kill them?"  
"If it would cheer you up," Ren said frankly, "I suppose I am."  
Hux laughed, placing his glass on the desk next to the bottle of whiskey and turning back to the cabinet.

"That sounds a bit extreme, Ren, even for you." Hux pulled another glass out and filled it and his to the brim with the liquor. Turning back around he held the second glass out to Ren. "Unfortunately, they are somewhat necessary to ensure the First Order maintains functioning. Their political and monetary connections would be difficult to re-establish without them."

"Shame," Ren said, removing his helmet as he stepped forward. He took the glass Hux offered him and took a ship, grimacing directly after. "This is horrible."

"I'm offended," Hux said, "I expect an apology."

"Let me know when you get one," Ren said with a sullen look at the glass. Hux found it amusing.

"Why are you here?" He asked. Ren eyed him for a moment.

"You felt angry," He responded, taking another sip from the glass with obvious distaste.

"Really now…" Hux snorted. "What concern, I suppose I should be flattered."

"Don't be," Ren said, a grin flickering across his face. "That'd be out of character and just slightly off-putting."  
Hux laughed at that, and Ren looked pleased with himself. Hux had never seen Ren quite like this before, somewhat relaxed and grinning. He really was emotive, his face lit up when he smiled, much like it darkened when he raged. Hux could appreciate having seen both extremes now, could appreciate being able to compare them.

"Keep drinking," Hux said when Ren took another sip and grimaced again. "Eventually your tongue will numb out and the taste won't bother you."

"That's a cheering thought," Ren said, but he was grinning again. He looked over at Hux with amusement in his eyes, he was obviously enjoying himself. Hux might've been annoyed at that once, might've hated the thought they could be like this, but he no longer cared.

"You've been behaving yourself." Hux said with something like approval. Ren choked slightly on the sip he'd been taking and coughed, color rising in his cheeks when he finally looked over at Hux.

"I… I figured you had enough to worry about…" He said. He'd been nursing the glass steadily and seeing it almost empty, Hux picked up the bottle and refilled it. Ren didn't stop him.

"You really are putting in some effort, aren't you," Hux said with a snort and a grin. How amusing, to think that Ren was trying so hard for… for _Hux_? For his approval? It seemed so odd in and of itself, that Ren would ever set boundaries on himself, control himself, for someone else. Hux really was flattered then.

Ren didn't answer, choosing to focus on the glass of liquor instead. He began draining it faster than the previous one, avoiding Hux's eyes and looking around the room instead. Hux had barely paid any attention to his own glass since Ren's arrival, somehow he found no more need for it.

"You seem to have calmed down somewhat," Ren said finally, his glass empty once again. Hux debated filling it again, wondering if Ren would be able to take it or if two large glasses was enough for the man. The whiskey was as strong as it was disgusting, but Hux was used to this type of liquor. He wasn't quite sure about Ren.

"Surprising, hm," Hux said, placing his glass down on the desk. "It seems you are not the only one who is able to change old habits."  
He was horribly vague, but it didn't seem that his intent was lost on Ren. The man's cheeks colored all the more, he cleared his throat and set his glass down with a clunk.

"I should go, the Supreme Leader has given me a mission order for tomorrow, and I must still prepare the crew and… and the shuttle," Ren said somewhat quickly. Hux was certain he'd never seen Ren flustered before, not like this, and he was enjoying every moment.  
"Very well, I would not keep you from your duties," Hux said with a sigh, eyes running over Ren's face. "Go, then."  
"I am," Ren said without moving. "Going."

Hux could see him wavering. He wasn't sure if it was Ren's own emotions giving him trouble or the alcohol, but he could plainly see the discord on Ren's face. He was interested, Hux could tell - this was the most civil conversation they'd ever had, Hux had somewhat praised him even, obviously Ren was eager to continue the experience. Hux remembered how Ren had clung to him in his most desperate moments, wondered again at that phrase, that Hux's feelings for him somehow _grounded_ him. He'd admitted to feeling something for Hux as well, hadn't he - and knowing that Hux was mildly certain that he could guess at the thoughts in Ren's head at that moment. Hux could consider several outcomes himself, several that were pleasing in theory and might be even more so in practice.

But Ren shifted towards the door, his gaze on Hux uncertain yet longing. Hux wasn't surprised to see it, but he wasn't going to keep Ren if he wanted to leave. So with a flat grin at Ren, Hux turned back to his glass, lifting it to his lips as Ren moved.

He hadn't expected that Ren would move _towards_ him, but there he was, large and dark next to him. Ren's hand was just barely touching his back, his chest brushing his shoulder. The kiss he brushed against Hux's temple was quick and gentle, but it shot a lightning strike though Hux's bodie and woke a warmth deep inside. He could practically smell Ren at this distance, the leather and wool of his clothes, musk and spice suddenly wafting around him. He shuddered, the longing in him suddenly spiking. Had Ren expected something of the sort, when he'd come? Hux couldn't believe it, not truly. He hadn't been giving Ren any pretense for it. He'd stopped ignoring him, had allowed more conversation between them, but he had not moved to go any further than that. He hadn't _allowed_ it of himself, unwilling to let his growing concern, growing feelings for the man evolve unnecessarily. Now, however, with Ren so close and so obviously yearning for more, Hux found he could not hold back any longer. He wanted more, it was suddenly a desperate craving.

Ren stepped back, turning to walk away, but Hux reached dropped the glass back on the desk and grabbed him by the belt. Pulling him back, he savored the feeling of their bodies meeting sharply, Ren's form warm against his own. There was something like shock in the man's eyes, but he didn't struggle, and when Hux kissed him he responded eagerly. Hux pushed into him harder and felt Ren's arms wrap reflexively around him. It felt good, the embrace, even the bitter taste of bad liquor couldn't marr the moment. Hux tangled fingers in Ren's hair, pressing him even closer. Ren allowed it, nearly melting against Hux and parting his lips to give Hux's tongue access to his own. His hands clenched at the back of Hux's shirt, he shuddered when Hux nipped at his lower lip. Hux pulled away, panting slightly and looking deep into Ren's half-lidded eyes.

"Perhaps," He said, "you might reconsider."

"Perhaps," Ren agreed, and pressed his lips against Hux's again.

Hux thought he might find regret on his mind when he woke. Instead there was a strange sort of calm, followed by the irritation of knowing he'd been asleep for too long and that there were no doubt multiple messages waiting for him on his com unit. He stayed quiet when Ren rose from the bed, half-dozing as he watched him dress. Ren didn't turn back to him, but Hux thought he could feel the ghost of a touch on his shoulder as the man left.

Hux had been uneasy all day, a low-level warning constantly pinging at the back of his head as he went about his daily duties. He couldn't figure out why, everything on board was running smoothly, even LtGen Gos hadn't been getting on his nerves. He should have been enjoying the relative calm before the next wave of missions. Something was _not right_ , however, and he found himself responding with irritation to ordinary situations, snapping at crew members despite himself. When he'd gotten the call that there was a disturbance in conference room D involving Kylo Ren, however, the unease in his mind turned into cold dread. He headed over to the room with his thoughts whirling unpleasantly, uncertain of what he'd find.

Since that reckless _incident_ several weeks earlier, Hux and Ren had engaged in a delicate dance of emotions that was growing increasingly less delicate. Hux had no regret, but he had the unshakeable and slightly foreboding feeling that the path of his life had forever, and irreparably, changed. He couldn't blame Ren for it, though he tried. He didn't have it in him, not anymore, and despite continuing to handle the man as he always had, inside he found himself so very often engaging his feelings towards the man. Ren, for his part, had maintained something of a professional distance - which was more than Hux had expected of him. He still occasionally stalked Hux throughout the ship when he had nothing more to do, occasionally encroaching into his personal space a touch too far, but for someone as emotionally volatile as he tended to be, Ren played his part well. Hux eventually had come to realize that was probably because he was saving it all up in anticipation of more private. Hux would never have planned their second time together, and perhaps that was why it had happened - he certainly didn't reject the moment when it came, when they met so suddenly in the empty corridor just outside Ren's door. Ren had been so earnest and Hux's resolve couldn't stand up to it. Ren was so _needy_ as well, it would have been a bit off-putting if he wasn't also reserved about it, so reluctant and yet so demanding of it. That neediness came with an eagerness to please, and Hux was more than happy to give affirmation if it meant having Ren follow his orders, if only for a moment. Hux had not considered the possibility of more sexual encounters after the first time, much less non-sexual moments where they were capable of talking and just existing near each other without some sort of verbal abuse, but now it seemed they were becoming a greater probability with each passing moment.

Thoughts of their tenuous, developing relationship weighed on Hux's mind as he approached the conference room. Ren had insinuated heavily that the reason he was keeping himself in check was for Hux, almost as if he wanted to _prove_ himself. If Ren was having another fit, had fallen back into his old ways after having put in so much effort… Hux could still remember with clarity the heavy air and the depth of fear that had gripped him that day he'd gone into Ren's room unasked; he still dreamed about it some nights. Ren had become reluctant to share any more information about the depths of darkness, as he had called them, and the entities within - but Hux thought something affecting him so strongly could not be put aside lightly. Could it be that an outward force that had thrown Ren off balance again? The thought was not a pleasant one.

Stopping in front of the conference room door, Hux eyed it warily. He could already feel it, a deep body-shuddering weight seeping from within the room and making the air thick and constricting. Sounds came from within, echoes of garbled roars and the familiar reverberating growl of Ren's lightsaber.

Steeling himself, Hux opened the door and walked inside.

The air was alive, far more alive than he thought it could ever be. What he'd experienced before was nothing compared to the assault on his senses he experienced now - the air was living, it was boiling and writhing around him with frantic energy. It almost seemed he could _see_ it, see the tendrils dark and smokey and endless twisting in the air. The growls that he'd heard from outside were very real, filling his ears and rumbling through his body like thunder. His mind was screeching panic within a second of entering that near-invisible yet very physical maelstrom, he almost stepped right back out of the room, it hit him so hard. Almost. He had not backed down in the face of this before, and he wouldn't this time, even if his body and mind both screamed for him to run. Clenching his fists to still their shaking and gritting his teeth in determination, he looked around the room to get his bearings.

The chairs were scattered haphazardly about, the table was slashed multiple times across the surface. The lights above flickered in uneven intervals, casting strange shadows about the room. The walls were damaged, one console was slashed and torn, sparking fitfully and releasing a small amount of smoke into the air.

Hux's attention was drawn to the other side of the room by the bright red flash of Ren's lightsaber. It sputtered fitfully as it arced through the air, red light reflecting on the walls and ceiling and within the strange eddy of darkness that surrounded Ren. He stood in the center of it, dynamic with rage. For a moment Hux wasn't sure what he was looking at, Ren's form shifting within the darkness, the lightsaber slicing across swaths of wall leaving trails of sparks and glowing metal, the darkness itself roiling as the roars vacillated wildly in volume.

Then Hux's eyes focused, his breath caught in his throat as he realized that _Ren was not holding the lightsaber_. The darkness around him roiled, yes, but not like a boil, more like writhing, like the tentacles of some beast curling tightly around each other and over each other - and they were tentacles, actual tentacles, in the air. The solidity of them faded and deepened and faded and deepened, before Hux's eyes the tentacles grew very real and very solid, inky black with an oil-slick iridescence where they reflected the saber's light, before fading again into nondescript gray smoke and ash. And it was one of those tentacles that gripped the hilt of the lightsaber, swinging it fluidly about.

A roar sounded, deep and reverberating through the room, and Ren responded in a voice far removed from his own, feral and deep. Hux's knees nearly buckled at the horrible harmony that shook him to the core, his primal brain overloading and very nearly taking away all sense he had left. He stumbled a step back, then gripped tight the courage left in him and moved forward instead.

"Ren," He said, but it came out in a croak. Desperately, he reached out to the dark-clothed figure before him and called out again, "REN!"

Ren shuddered, the tentacles swirled somewhat slower in an almost puzzled manner. The roars, the growls, receded as Ren turned to face him, the darkness fading from around him. He didn't have his helmet on, his hair was dark against the pallor of his face. He looked disoriented, unseeing. A thin line of blood trickled from his nose to his lips, staining them red.

Feeling the weight of the air relax somewhat, the horrid heaviness lift from him, Hux moved towards Ren. The other man only watched him, chest heaving with his breath, his arms shaking at his sides. He didn't react as Hux neared, blinked somewhat dazedly when Hux grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Ren, do you hear me?" Hux asked, looking into his eyes for some glimmer of recognition. His pupils were blown, Hux could barely see the border of brown around them. The blood on Ren's face was all the more striking up close, deep scarlet against his ice white skin. "Do you understand me?"

"H...Hux?" Ren's voice came hushed and hoarse. He blinked a few times, staring at Hux, but his eyes were doing the flicker that Hux had come to recognize over the past weeks. Ren always seemed disoriented when it happened, he'd mentioned once how sometimes there were just _too many things to see_.

"Focus on me, all right," Hux said firmly, lifting a hand to Ren's face. His skin was prickling still, the tentacles at Ren's back still swayed, half-formed and ghostly, above them. The one with the lightsaber held it limply, the growling blade swinging distressingly close to them.

"Hux, it's… it's you, right?" Ren whimpered, lifting a hand to touch Hux's. The lights above them ceased flickering, the distant roars faded away finally.

"Yes, it's me." Hux could see Ren's pupils begin to contract again, he seemed to be able to focus better. The tentacles at his back still remained, however, and the lightsaber's blade continued to sway near them. Hux took a deep breath, then spoke, "Can you put that down?"

"What?" Ren looked confused.

"Your lightsaber."

"But… I'm not holding it…" Ren glanced down at his empty hands slowly, then back at Hux. The saber swung closer again and this time Ren seemed to notice it. His eyes turned to the side, then his head, and then he was jumping back sharply, cursing, the tentacles flailing about. The lightsaber clattered to the floor and shut off, and Ren's eyes flickered between it and the tentacle still curling in the air, breath coming fast.

"Oh…" He said, letting out a deep breath and sounding relieved, "Oh…"

"What?" Hux asked. Ren gave him a reluctant look, then looked away.

"They're… they're mine…" He muttered, and the tentacles began to fade then, slowly turning transparent until they disappeared. Hux watched it all silently until the last trace had vanished.

"Yours." He stated. Ren shot him an abashed look.

"...I must have brought them back…" He said distantly.

"From where?" Hux asked, then raised a hand before Ren could speak. "Do not answer that. Not yet."

He turned away and walked over to the single remaining working console in the room. He requested a clean up crew for the room, then after a moment to consider, requested _two_. He could hear Ren moving about behind him, accompanied by the sound of items being moved across the floor. Turning, he found Ren setting a chair upright. It leaned heavily to one side, and when he let go it crashed to the floor.

"What are you doing?" Hux asked, exasperated and only just getting his pounding heart under control.

Ren looked over at him, still looking disoriented, and motioned vaguely with his hands at the chair.  
"It fell over." He said simply, then seemed confused as if he wasn't certain about his own words.

"Come, let's go. The cleaning crews will be here soon." Hux said, walking over to Ren. "Where is your helmet?"

Ren looked around the room, he obviously had no clue. Hux tried to see if he could spot it himself, but among the smoke still pouring from the destroyed console it was getting difficult to make out anything in any detail.

"The cleaning crew will return it when they find it," Hux said, walking over to Ren.

"I don't like it," Ren said haltingly, then shook his head and scowled. "I just… it must be somewhere here."

"Come on," Hux said, grabbing Ren's arm and pulling him along. He was not going to let the cleaning crew see Ren like that, pale and bloody and disoriented. Ren resisted for a few steps, then reluctantly fell in step next to Hux, keeping his head lowered as they exited into the corner. Hux released his arm then, but thankfully Ren didn't move away.

"You're going to get some rest," Hux said firmly and quietly as they went. "And then you're going to tell me about these… _additions_ to your person and where they came from."

"Maybe I will," Ren said with a touch of aloofness. Hux turned to him, prepared to say something in return, but a glimmer of color catches his eye. Something about Ren's hair… it had always been dark, but it looked nearly ink black, and when he turned his head a shimmer of color flickered across it like the sheen on an oil slick. It was just barely there, but now that Hux had noticed it, he could not stop seeing it.

"What?" Ren asked. He still looked somewhat disoriented, and so very, very pale.

"Nothing," Hux said quickly, looking away. Ren nodded, but his eyes were still barely focused, his gaze wandered as if lost and unable to settle. Looking away, Hux couldn't help but wonder, if Ren was bringing something back with him, was it possible he was leaving something behind as well?

The cleaning crew found traces of a slime-like deposit in various areas of the room. Analysis confirmed a match with the slime found in Ren's shuttle with the dead troopers. Hux didn't tell Ren - the implications of the findings were somewhat… _uncomfortable_. Considering Ren's recent state of mind, and the oddly detached way he moved throughout his days, Hux didn't believe it necessary to concern him with something so coincidental and trivial.

"Drop the shields, or your General dies."

Hux glared over the barrel of the blaster at the Resistance fighter holding it. She met his glare with her own, brow furrowed and eyes severe.

"Don't do it." He snapped, managing to sound entirely cool and reserved. He was frantically trying to think of a way out of the situation - his hand-to-hand skills were nothing to laugh at, but with six Resistance spies training their blasters on various members of the crew the odds were not in his favor. How had they even gotten onto the ship in the first place? And now, of all times, when both Captain Phasma and Ren were out on missions. Woe to the ones who'd let their guard drop and allow intruders on board, he was _furious_. The ones to blame would discover just how severe he could be…

"Are you willing to let your General die, for what?" A second Resistance fighter said, waving the blaster he held at the officer be for him, "For pride?"

The officer, a young woman by the name of Tara Silero, only recently promoted to the position, looked to Hux for guidance, eyes widened in fear. She was a good worker, skilled and capable, but nothing could have prepared her to be held at blaster point by Resistance fighters on her second day.

Hux gave a short shake of his head, eyes narrowing. Officer Silero's face hardened, her eyes going defiant as she turned her gaze back to the fighter next to her.

"Resistance scum." She spat, glaring at the man. "Your threats are nothing in the face of the power of the FIrst Order. Our forces are strong, and we will prevail. Whatever you attempt to accomplish here will be for nothing."

Hux felt a swell of pride. This was the new generation coming into the ranks of the First Order, loyal and dedicated to the very end. His respect for Silero rose.

"It seems your crew is loyal to a fault, General." The women holding Hux at blaster's length said. "Perhaps that can be remedied if you are removed from the situation."  
"There will only be one thing that changes," Hux said, keeping his voice cool and controlled. "And it is not their loyalty, That is to the First Order, not to my person, and _that_ is a target far too large for you to remove."

The woman sneered at him, lifted the blaster muzzle to his face - he felt the chill then, felt it run down the core of his spine and straight into the marrow of his bones. This was it, then. At least he could go standing, and defiant, be an example to his crew. Better than beaten like a dog or left to rot in a prison cell, much better. He would allow himself to flinch, if this was his death he would experience it to the bitter end. They would not see him cower in his final moments, no he would not give them that pleasure.

Time seemed to slow around him. He could suddenly see everything in vivid clarity, down to the dust motes in the air and the single strands of hair falling across the woman's face. Her brow remained furrowed, the scowl deepening as her finger pressed, ever so slowly, on the trigger. He waited for the inevitable blast, the burning and the pain -

But nothing came.

The woman gasped, then choked, her eyes widening with fright. The blaster dropped out of her hands as she reached for her throat, fingers scrabbling at her skin as if she could tear a hole in it to breathe through. Beyond her, Hux could see the other Resistance fighters reacting similarly, eyes bulging and mouths opened wide as they struggled for air.

A deep, dark pressure pushed on Hux's mind, foreboding and panic raising the hairs on the back of his neck. He knew this visceral, primal reaction by then, knew it far too well. It couldn't be, there was no way it could be Ren - and yet he was there when Hux turned towards the door to the bridge, both arms raised, hands clenched in the air. The chrome of his helmet glinting as he turned his gaze to Hux. Darkness surrounded him, clouding his form from the waist down, and Hux thought he could see something like the sparkle of stars among it, as if he were looking into the depths of some strange, dark galaxy.

"Might you have need of them?" Ren asked, his voice distant and two-toned.

"They may have vital information," Hux said, able to speak without stuttering but unable to keep the surprise from his voice.

"Very well." Ren responded. He moved his hands, and the Resistance fighters jerked in unison. A moment later he dropped them to the floor, unconscious. Hux eyed their motionless forms warily a moment.

"Get the doors unblocked, and have them removed." He said finally. The crew scrambled to obey his orders, and Hux left them to it. He approached Ren, still puzzled by the man's sudden appearance.

"You were nowhere near here," Hux said quietly, giving the man a critical look. He could feel his reluctance in the pause that followed.

" _Now_ I'm here." Ren responded finally, vague as ever.

"That is _not_ an explanation." Hux hissed. The darkness around Ren's lehs had faded somewhat, but what remained swirled anxiously around him, the glitter of stars within it fading and bursting with its movements.

"Sir, there's something on the radar." A tech called out, and Hux gave Ren one more harsh look before turning away.

Stormtroopers had begun appearing carry out the Resistance spies, and Hux spared them only a glance as he stalked over to the console.

"What is it?" He asked.

"It's… it's large, sir. And it's _close_. We didn't notice it because of the intrusion but…" The tech looked up at Hux, then over at the main window. Hux followed his gaze, shocked to see the bulk of a ship level with them, and far too close for comfort. How had they not noticed its approach? Perhaps… the Resistance spies had wanted the shields to be dropped, Hux had assumed so that other ships could board more easily. But what if that had never been the intention, what if they were preparing the Finalizer for something far more destructive…

"Get me a solid reading on that ship," Hux snapped to the tech, "And arm the cannons."  
"There're no life forms aboard, sir." The tech said in short time, "It… I believe it's meant to be a battering ram. The front hold is packed full, and the thrusters are at max."

Hux cursed under his breath, the nose of the approaching ship looming large. The shields might hold, but if the approaching ship was loaded with explosives, the resulting explosion could still wreak havoc on systems within the Finalizer. Perhaps if they turned - they couldn't get out of its way, but if they poured the energy into the side shields, let it hit somewhere less vital than directly in front of the bridge…

"No." Ren's voice came from right next to him, the suddenness of it startling him. "Don't move the ship."  
"What?" Hux looked at Ren in disbelief. "If we don't do something, the bridge could very well be rendered inoperable, and we do not have the time for the repairs that would necessitate-"

"Don't move." Ren said, grabbing Hux by the elbow firmly to punctuate his words. Still holding Hux's arm, he turned to face the window. As Hux watched, the dark cloud at his feet began to whirl faster, the stars within it bursting and reappearing rapidly. Ren raised a hand, open palm facing the window. The dark cloud grew, reaching up towards his upper body, flowing out along the line of his arm.

Did ren think he could turn the other ship around? Move it aside, _an entire ship_? Hux could only state in disbelief, at the man beside him. He was not alone, the crew had stopped themselves, staring over at Ren with awe and fear on their faces. The battering ship continued to approach, beat after beat it grew larger in the window. Next to him, Ren was becoming indistinct, parts of him transparent as the cloud that encircled him. Crackles, ones like he'd seen before but larger and brighter, extended in a halo around his body in all directions. They looked at once flat and three dimensional, a delicate filigree that Hux's eyes couldn't focus on properly no matter how long he stared at it. Flickers of color raced between the gaps in the cracking, colors he somehow knew and yet couldn't find a name for. They intensified, the crackling fading from white to grey, than to bold black. The cloud around Ren vanished in one sudden moment - a gasp from the crew Hux's attention back to the window before them.

The battering ship was closer yet, but not before it there seemed to be a darkening, and it grew at a fantastical speed. A dark cloud, perhaps the very same that had encircled Ren moments before, billowed and burst in front of the Finalizer, a barrier between the ship and the battering ram aimed so directly at her. Flickering pinpoints of light and shimmering colors spread across the cloud as it grew, it was impossibly large impossibly soon, the edges extending beyond the vision afforded by the window. For long moments there was only silence, and the dark cloud ahead of them that now blocked any view of the encroaching ship.

And then the stars within the cloud burst in glaring brightness, the entire cloud suddenly filled with unbelievable levels of light. It billowed violently, expanding with each burst of explosive light and then falling back rapidly. It felt like ages that they watched it, mesmerized by the light and the colors that burst within it - and then, it all stopped. The light was gone, as were the colors, and the cloud itself faded away to nothing at a rapid pace.

Beyond it was only the wide, starry expanse of space. The ship was gone.

"What did you do?" Hux asked in a shaking voice, turning to Ren.

"...I just…" Ren began, but his voice sounded terribly weary, he sagged suddenly as if all the energy had been drained of him. Hux caught him, holding him up. He could feel Ren's body shaking, feel his laboured breathing.

"Keep an eye on the radar and make sure there are no further surprises." Hux ordered the speechless crew. They snapped to attention, fell to their work with frenzied speed, but did it all wordlessly and with frequent, frightened glances back at Ren.

"Come on," Hux said, dragging Ren off of the bridge. "It seems I'm doing this often lately."

"I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not." Ren said with a low chuckle. Hux grinned slightly, at least this time he wasn't disoriented and dazed.

By the time they made it to the private quarters, Ren was walking on his own, albeit somewhat weakly. He stopped at his own door, but Hux pulled him along further down to his own door.

"My room is perfectly fine," Ren said dourly, but he allowed Hux to direct him inside.

"You can rest here." Hux said, eyeing Ren critically as he sat down heavily in the armchair. "Will you tell me how you came to be here? Or is that another bit of information you decide not to share?"

"It's not that I'm deciding not to share," Ren said with a sigh, pulling off his helmet and setting it on the armrest. He looked up at Hux with a weary, and somewhat exasperated expression, "It's that… I don't know how to explain it."

"Hm." Hux might have said more, but he was somewhat distracted. He'd noticed that there were minute differences in Ren's appearance earlier, but the changes had intensified since the last time he'd seen the man only a few days earlier. Ren's hair really was black now, not the black of black hair, but the black of inky darkness, of deep space without stars - only also not, because his hair _did_ have stars, pinpoints of light that were flickering softly. That was new, that Hux hadn't seen before, and it sent a shock through him, of fear or awe he couldn't be sure. The iridescent glimmer he'd noticed before was still there, scattering across Ren's hair as he moved his head in a myriad of colors.

"What is it?" Ren asked, giving Hux a questioning look. "What are you looking at?" Hux debated, once again, not telling him - the last few times it had been easier to pretend he'd seen nothing, the changes had not been so profound. But he'd been caught staring now, and he could see the unease rising in Ren's eyes as he delayed in his response.

"Your hair, it's… it's different…" Hux sighed finally, Ren's eyes widened, he raised a hand to his hair but stopped just short of touching it.

"What do you mean, different?" His voice was quite, low, and just a bit worried.

"It's… black," Hux said vaguely. "And it has stars in it, I suppose. They look like stars, at least."

" _What?_ " Ren jolted up from the seat, staggering slightly as he glanced aroudn the room.

"Are you looking for a mirror?" Hux almost chuckled, Ren looked so horribly concerned.

"Maybe…" Ren finally touched his hair then, running fingers through it with a look of sever concentration, as if he could somehow _feel_ the difference if he only focused hard enough.

"You… you haven't noticed?" Hux asked, stepping closer.

"I did, I just…" Ren sighed. "I didn't think it was that visible to anyone else."

Hux didn't respond, but he reached out and touched Ren's face, then brushed the hair gently back from his face.

"Rest." He said, giving the man a pat on the cheek. "And try to come up with _some_ sort of explanation. I'm getting a bit weary of being in the dark about all of this."

Ren gave him a weak, albeit genuine, smile, and Hux left to return to the bridge.

Hux slammed the data pad down on the desk, cursing inwardly. Another of his orders "amended" by The LtGen without his consent, changed to something absolutely different from what he'd originally outlined. Hux had quite enough of the man, of his ugly little face and simpering smile and sniveling voice, always speaking up after Hux said anything to add his own thinly veiled criticism. It had to be a test, Hux had decided, there could be no other reason the council would have thrust such a positively vile creature on board his ship if it wasn't. They were testing his dedication, and they would find it firm - but the number it did on his nerves was almost not worth it. Almost. He gritted his teeth and tried to drag his thoughts to more important matters.

"Sir, LtGen Gos has not checked in for duty today," Mitaka said, looking somewhat perturbed. He spoke as if he had been keeping the information to himself a while, as if he wee waiting for the right moment to tell Hux and avoid his ire - then realized there could be no "right moment; and decided to speak before it was too late.. "No one has seen him since he retired to his quarters yesterday, and none of our attempts to contact him have been successful."

"No one at all?" Hux asked, frowning. As annoying as the man was, and as glad as Hux would be to see him gone, he was still disquieted by the news. They were in the final preparations for a large scale assault on a New Republic arms factory that was only days away; the thought that Gos would not report during such a crucial time was unthinkable. The man might be a hassle, but he was punctual and hard working. "Have there been any unsanctioned launches? Any unusual activity on the communications systems?"

"No sir, however," Mitaka sighed, Hux could imagine the man was tiring of being the bearer of bad news. "Upon review of security footage, we show the Lieutenant entering his room, but never leaving."

"And you are sure his quarters were inspected?" Hux asked.

"Yes sir," Mitaka responded. "He was not to be found within them, and it has been confirmed that none of the grates leading to the ductwork had been tampered with."

"Let me see this footage," Hux asked, disquieted and yet having the odd feeling he knew what had occurred.

Mitaka pulled up the footage on the console before them and set it playing. Gos could clearly be seen entering his room, the door sliding shut behind him. There was nothing but an empty corridor to be seen afterwards. Mitaka moved to turn the recording off but Hux lifted a hand to stop him. It only took a minute or so longer, and he saw it - a flicker around Gos's door, something like static, like a flurry of glitching pixel. Suspicions confirmed, Hux turned the projection off.

"Curious indeed," He said in a suitably irritable tone. "If he can't be found we'll have to move forward without him."

"Yes sir," Mitaka said. "I'll notify the others that we will continue as planned."  
"Excellent." Hux said, giving Mitaka an approving look. "I am returning to my quarters, do not disturb me unless it is an emergency."

"Yes sir."

Hux headed out into the corridor with purpose. He still couldn't quite understand how he knew where Ren was the moment he thought of him, perhaps it was some sort of low-level sharing of powers through the connection between them. He would've found Ren without it, however. The Finalizer sat just outside a particularly spectacular nebula as she prepared for her next destination, and there was only one place to find Ren in those kinds of circumstances. Hux headed at an easy pace to the lift, taking it to one of the higher levels. Several observation rooms were situated along each wall, and he headed for the central on the (aptly) starboard side. Entering the observation, Hux was not surprised to find it empty except for the dark figure at the window.

"Enjoying the view?" He asked, removing his gloves as he stepped forward to join the other man.

"If only you could see it as I do," Ren responded, sounding somewhat wistful.

"If only, indeed," Hux stepped up next to him, looking out at the mass of billowing, colorful stardust. Space never ceased to amaze. He looked at Ren, eyeing him in silence for a moment.

"Take your mask off."

Ren's gaze shifted to him, chrome glinting as his head turned.

"It's only us," Hux coaxed.

Reaching up, Ren disengaged the modulator, lifted the helmet off smoothly. Hux wasn't quite prepared for what he saw - oh, he'd gotten used to the stardust hair and the luminescent sparkle of Ren's eyes by then, and become quite enamored of it as well. But there, before the softly glowing nebula, Ren had changed again. No, maybe he'd only grown _deeper_ , his dark hair shifting with colors as if it were reflecting the view outside the window, his eyes grown nearly black, glittering with a scatter of stars.

"Lieutenant General Gos seems to have disappeared," Hux said with a smirk, reaching a hand out to caress Ren's face.

"What a shame," Ren said, turning his face so he could press a kiss to Hux's palm. Hux chuckled, running his hand into the hair at the back of Ren's head and pulling him forward into a kiss. He smelled like frost, tasted like lightning. Hux wanted to drown in him right then, pull his entire being into him.

"Come to my room," Ren said, breathless, when they parted. His arms had wound around Hux, held him firmly.

"Why not mine?" Hux asked. Ren frowned.

"Yours is too bright," He said simply, "The glare hurts my eyes."  
"I can dim the lights," Hux said with a laugh. Ren's frown must not have been all that serious, his lips quirked into a grin easily. "Besides, my bed is bigger."

"I can't argue on that point." Ren released him, still grinning softly. He put his helmet back on as Hux moved away.

"Where do you put that, when you take it off?" Hux asked as they headed out, eyeing him curiously.

"I put it _aside_." Ren said.  
"Yes, but _where_?" Hux asked again. He could tell Ren was giving him an exasperated look, he could feel it.

" _Aside_ , Hux," Ren sighed. "I don't believe our language has a word for it."

Hux arched an eyebrow but let the topic drop. The more Ren's powers grew, or changed, the less words there seemed to be available to describe them.

They reached Hux's quarters in significantly less time than usual. Hux had stopped wondering how the lost time was affecting things, and right then especially he was far more amused by how Ren's eagerness.

Hux dimmed the lights low when they entered, nearly turning them off. He could barely see the way to the bed, but it ceased to be a problem once they began undressing. Ren's skin shone slightly, a ghostly luminescence that still continued to take Hux's breath away. He ran his hands adoringly across the man's skin, fingers silhouetting darkly against it. Ren always seemed somewhat uncertain in that first moment after he was fully nude, hesitant to begin, as if he worried that _this_ was the time that Hux would appalled by how different he was, this was the moment that Hux would reject him.

Hux pulled Ren in by force, pressed their bodies together and trailed kisses down his neck. Hux wondered if space, if stars, smelled like Ren; like frost, like ozone, like the crispness of fire and the dark depths of oceans. He looked so _cold_ in his ethereal colors, but his body was hot against Hux's, as if heated by the stars that glittered across the expanse of his skin and in his hair. Hux could feel that heat enter him when Ren kissed him, spreading through his body. Ren wrapped his arms around him, Hux tangled fingers in the galactic cloud of his hair.

They settled on the bed, legs twining together, hands caressing each other's bodies . The darkness seemed not quite dark anymore, when they were tangled together. Hux could see shapes within it, glistening outlines that he couldn't place. Colors flickered across the edges of his vision, colors he had no name for and yet recognized. He could drown in it all, in Ren's heat and his existence. He was certain that if he was surrounded in Ren's stardust for the rest of his life he'd die happy.

Colors exploded around them. Everything seemed gilted in chrome, nebulous starshine filled the ceiling above and stars dusted the air. Hux could swear he saw into the next plane of existence when he came, contours of alien structures flashing superimposed over the familiar lines of his room.

"Is that what it's like for you?" He asked once they'd caught their breath, forehead pressed against Ren's, body still tangled with his.

"What?" Ren stiffened, pulling away to stare Hux with something akin to horror on his face. The stars in his eyes burst supernova.

"The colors, the lines…" Hux said hesitantly, reaching out to touch Ren's face.

"You saw that?" Ren's voice shook, he pulled away from Hux's touch. His hair had grown darker, stars vanishing from its depths. His skin flickered translucent in his worry, for several horrifying seconds Hux could see the outline of His skull behind his face, the vertebrae within his neck. "You can see that?"

"No," Hux said hurriedly, "For a moment, I thought I did…"

That was a lie, he'd seen it before when they'd had sex, but never as strongly as then, never as clearly. He hoped Ren couldn't sense the lie, he regretted bringing it up at all.

"Not now?" Ren asked, the starbursts in his eyes settling slightly. Hux touched his shoulder, and when Ren didn't move away he pulled him back down and against him.

"Not now," He murmured in Ren's ear, pressed a kiss to his cheek. "It's all gone now."

"Good." Ren said, curling his arms around Hux's waist and sighing hot breath against his neck. "I don't want this for you."

"Don't worry," Hux said, relaxing back into the warmth of his embrace. He tried not to think about why Ren would consider it so horrible, if Hux joined him.

Hux wasn't sure if he could pinpoint when Ren's changing - his _evolution_ \- had begun to worry him. Perhaps the concern grew with respect to the oddity of the changes that Ren underwent. The way the edges of Ren's body glitched when he moved too quick, as if he were an image on a computer screen rather than an actual person, had been unsettling. The low lying dark cloud that gathered round his feet was slightly less disturbing, it shimmered softly with purple and blue hues as it faded from deep gray to nearly translucent and back in an almost gentle and welcoming fashion - Hux actually enjoyed watching it, somehow it seemed to draw the stresses of the day out of him and leave him with a sense of peace. Had the changes stopped there, there may have been less widespread anxiety; certainly, Hux would have been far less worried. The changes continued however, no doubt inevitable - the tentacles had returned, soft dark shapes that twisted and coiled in the air begin Ren, sometimes draping along the ground as he stood, other times waving languidly in the air. Along with them came a general sense of disquiet that followed Ren wherever he went, invisible and yet horribly tangible. Even Hux was affected by it, unable to keep the shudder from running down his spine the first moment Ren stepped near.

Ren himself seemed utterly indifferent to the changes, nor the reactions they drew. He didn't react when Stormtroopers jolted to attention as he appeared, didn't seem to care about the way the officers and crew cast shocked and somewhat fearful glances his way.

Worst for Hux was how distant Ren had become from _him_ , pulling back slowly yet steadily. Some days Hux didn't see him at all, other times he was only a dim figure at the edges of his perception, hanging in the back of the bridge or room. He avoided long conversations, and when they did speak his voice was toneless and flat. Hux could barely stand it, but the few times he snapped at Ren about it, or even tried to bring up the matter in a civil way, Ren backed away even more, left sometimes with a word or look back. Hux knew he was losing him to whatever it was he'd found in the depths of the darkness, and it ate away at him, the knowledge that he was helpless in the face of it. Their time together had been short, but far too poignant to be let go of so easily. No matter how Hux tried to remind himself that he had been fine before Ren and he would be fine after him, the pain in his heart remained.

It was something of a surprise when Hux's door opened and Ren walked in. They hadn't been together, alone, in a long while and Hux felt an eagerness rise in his breast. The eagerness was tempered by unease, however, as he saw that Ren held back, looking somewhat uncomfortable. The tentacles behind him twisted fitfully in the air, the cloud at his feet darkened.

"What is it?" Hux said somewhat softly. There was a distance between them now, he felt like he was speaking across a ravine.

"I… I must go," Ren said, his voice sounded two-toned and odd. "The Supreme Leader wishes to see me."

"I see." Hux eyed Ren for a moment, then took walked towards him slowly.

"Take your helmet off," He said somewhat curtly. Ren recoiled physically, pulling back as Hux nearer him.

"What is it?" Hux frowned.

"I can't." Ren responded. The tentacles were twisting against each other now, shimmering with translucent slime that began to slowly drip off of them.

"It can't be that bad," Hux said, and reached out towards Ren's helmet himself. Ren grabbed his hands, however, caught him short, and Hux scowled at him. "You haven't let me see you in _weeks_."

"Don't," Ren said quietly, he pulled Hux's hands downwards gently. "Please."

"You've changed again," Hux said wearily, "It's obvious, of course, but I don't understand why you think anything would be different if you have."

Ren made a small noise, Hux could feel his hands shaking. With a strangled gasp he threw himself at Hux and wrapped his arms around his waist, burying the faceplate of his helmet against Hux's neck. The metal was chill, but Hux wouldn't refuse the embrace. He hadn't held Ren in so long, he'd ached for his touch. He hooked one arm around Ren's neck, the other around his waist and held him tightly. The tentacles at Ren's back continued writhing, he could feel their movements against the backs of his hands. Maybe he should have felt revolted, but he could only find comfort in them as they pressed against his skin. They were a part of Ren, after all.

"I must go," Ren choked out after a long moment, his body shuddering in Hux's hold. He was warm and so much more real than Hux feared he would be. He couldn't imagine what changes had come that Ren would be so reluctant to show him, and it worried him. Even in that moment, with Ren in his arms, Hux could feel him slipping away

"What are you going to do without me there to ground you?" He tried to laugh, to make it a joke, but it came out flat and somewhat sad.

"I really don't know." Ren said softly. He clung to Hux desperately, and they stood like that a moment longer, arms wrapped tight around each other.

"What will he do when he sees you like this?" Hux asked quietly.

Ren only shook his head. The tentacles writhed faster, slapping at Hux's hands anxiously.

"I have to go." Ren said with a grim finality. Hux held him a moment longer, then loosened his arms. Ren pulled away, but reached a hand up to touch Hux's face gently. Hux looked into the visor of his helmet and saw a galaxy reflected within.

"I'll return as soon as I can." Ren said solemnly, and left.

It was too much. Hux couldn't sleep, each movement he made sent pain stabbing like daggers into his thigh and side. He groaned, laying an arm across his forehead. The doctors had said the recovery period would be long, but he had hoped the painkillers would have dulled the pain long enough to last a few hours, at least. He could get no rest as he was, his brain was sluggish from the lack of sleep.

Easing himself up to sit in bed, he tapped the controls at his bedside to raise the lighting levels just enough to barely see by, too weary to speak. He hadn't had a good rest for three days, ever since he'd been stupid enough to go planetside on neutral territory in order to meet with a prospective ally. Why he thought he could trust Jiska's security he didn't know, but it had proven to be a near fatal decision. It was sheer, dumb luck he had stepped outside the blast radius just as the hidden bomb blew - he only had to deal with a shattered femur, severe abdominal bruising, and a concussion. Many of those he'd brought with him weren't so lucky.

He stared blearily at the wall across from him, unable to truly think of anything. His brain felt like porridge, sticky and thick and bland. He wanted to be healthy, already, he wanted to get back to his duties. He was tired of being stuck in bed with doctors and nurse droids fussing over him and Mitaka filtering all reports before they reached him (by doctor's orders, he was _not_ to be stressed).

Something flickered in his view. He blinked slowly, attempted to focus at the room around him. He could not see anything out of the ordinary, but then - a feeling, like a lost echo finally returning. Darkness in the back of his mind, deep and weighted, that woke that primal part of his brain so effectively. At first the sensation was distressing; he was in danger, he needed to move, needed to go. But then the realization dawned on him, his mind snapped to attention from the shock of it, it was _familiar_ and despite the misgiving it gave his mind it was good to feel, so good. He sat up straighter, hissing when the movement sent another pang from his injured leg, and looked around himself eagerly.

"Ren?" He asked into the dim room's confines. There was nothing that he could see around him, nothing tangible, but the feeling was there, the deep press of something his mind could not understand.

 _You're injured_.

The voice - did he hear it or did he imagine it? - was irrefutably Ren's.

"Where are you?" Hux asked somewhat desperately. Maybe he was hallucinating, that was a known side effect of the painkillers. Maybe it was all in his head…

 _It's not in your head_ … Ren's voice reached him again, flat and monotonous, and there before his eyes the shadows shifted. Dark planes moved across his vision, and Ren's figure coalesced so smoothly into existence it seemed as if he'd always been there. Dark-clothed and bordered by crackling white filigree and a rainbow of muted color, he looked surreal and otherworldly. Seeing him, Hux relaxed back against the headboard, a sigh of relief passing his lips.

"I thought you weren't coming back." He admitted somewhat sourly. Ren moved closer, the crackling halo fading away along with the colors.

 _How… how long was I gone?_ Ren asked, a hint of concern coloring his voice. Hux could tell now, it _was_ in his head, as if Ren were projecting directly into his mind.

"A year." Hux fixed Ren with a severe glare. "I thought you'd finally had enough."

 _A year…_ Ren sighed, Hux could hear that as well. _I didn't know. I didn't mean to make you worry._

"Worry?" Hux laughed, leaning his head back against the wall. "Why would I worry?"

He had worried, at first. Then he'd gotten angry. Then, he'd decided that it wasn't worth his time to be either worried or angry, and focused his energies on more important matters. He'd even managed to forget about Ren for a time, during his waking hours at least. He should have been furious with him, returning after so long, leaving Hux in the lurch. He couldn't find it in him, however; the emotions missing from his life for so long had staggered out into the open again, just seeing Ren beside him was enough to lift his spirits and draw his mind away from the pain of his broken body.

"You've changed again, haven't you?" Hux said softly. Ren had come to stand near the bed, and he lowered himself somewhat slowly to the chair standing next to it. Now that he was close, Hux could see that his body wasn't quite the same as before. It shifted slightly, in constant shuddering movement, and pieces broke off from around the edges to dance away like dust motes in the air. The tentacles were nowhere to be seen, but Hux could _sense_ them there, feel the way they displaced the air and set it wafting slowly.

 _Yes_. Ren replied simply. He didn't elaborate, but Hux hadn't expected him to. He never had before, and it still infuriated Hux as it always had. He was far too weak, and far too happy, at the moment to let that anger be anything other than a distant irritation.

"Where were you?" Hux asked, "Not with Snoke. According to him, you never arrived."

 _I was Called_ , Ren said softly, _I could not refuse it. It is an… honor._

"I see," Hux said, though he didn't. He could only barely piece together the scraps of information that Ren had given him about the darkness, about the entities within, about the power they offered. There were far too many secrets and Ren was unwilling to share them.

He sighed, "And now you've returned."  
 _I had not realized how much time had passed for you,_ Ren's tone was apologetic, _I did not plan this return well._

"Passed for _me_?" Hux asked, arching an eyebrow. "Not for you?"

 _Time… time is only relevant to those who exist within its boundaries._ Ren answered hesitantly. Hux looked at him for a long moment, letting those words drift in his head until he could fully grasp their meaning. Ren was no longer bound by time, Ren had become something not of their world. Had he transcended - or was it descended - fully to those dark depths? In responding to the call, had he joined the entities that he'd met completely? Was he only here, with Hux, as a projection and not his true self? Hux had wondered quite often, over the past year, just what Ren's vaguely-referenced 'evolution' could mean, had extrapolated from what he'd seen last to try to get some sense of what to expect when Ren returned. Now he was there, he looked like the man he'd known and yet…

"Show me." Hux said softly.

 _Show you what?_ Ren asked evasively.

"You know what." Hux's tone turned demanding. He reached out a hand and laid it on Ren's knee, felt it solid under his hand, solid yet pulsing with heat and substance. He felt like a writhing mass, confined to a man's shape. "Show me."

Ren removed his helmet slowly and - Hux's breath caught at the sight, his eyes overwhelmed by the scene that unfolded before him

It was a painter's dry brush streaking thick black across the canvas of reality. It was stained glass breaking filigree around it, crystal shards ringing in galactic winds with the melancholy sweetness of forgotten chimes, fractals stacking atop each other and stretching into limitlessness. Ren's face was gone, his hair was gone, his _head_ was gone. A nebulous cloud of starshine and gasses billowed from the neck of his robe, spreading up and out and dispersing colors across its surface. Stars like eyes - or eyes like stars- blinked open and shut in slow, hypnotic succession, spread across the square meters of space formed by the cloud and surrounding them both. He felt like something waking in a deep, unknown ocean. He felt like masses of teeth in grim darkness. He felt like a roar in the dark and the feel of eyes in an empty room. From the mass of stardust where his head should have been tendrils began to emerge, thickening and writhing en masse in a horrid display, luminescent slime smearing across them and dripping slowly off only to fade away in the air.

 _Hux?_

Ren's voice was somehow louder and yet quieter in his head, it was a sound and a feeling and a flavor all at once, engaging all his senses in some strange way. Above all, it was a question - and Hux could taste the unease in it. He opened his mouth to answer but found that words failed him. He couldn't stop looking, slack jawed and wide-eyed, into the veritable galaxy of Ren's being surrounding him.

"You're gorgeous," He breathed finally. He held a hand out, and Ren reached back hesitantly, grasping him in a hand that shifted between being and not-being more rapidly than Hux could feel. He pulled the metaphysical creature that had been his lover to himself, embraced his ever-shifting form and felt it solidify under his touch.

 _Do you really think so?_ Ren asked, looping his arms around Hux. The tentacles of his body shuddered, slid around Hux as well, alien and strange but somehow not unwelcome. They were warm, their touch gentle and oddly familiar.

"Look inside my head," Hux said softly, breathing in the stardust and listening to the wind chime ringing of the colors as they shifted with Ren's movements. "and tell me if I'm lying."

 _I won't,_ Ren said, but he no longer sounded hesitant. His emotion was warm within Hux, his form relaxed against him. _Not to you, your mind is your own._

Hux felt the pain in him ebb away, the stresses of the past days vanishing within that warm embrace.

"Ren," He whispered, "Don't leave me again."

 _Never_. Ren whispered back, his voice soft in Hux's mind. _I returned for you, Hux, and I will stay with you. As long as you're alive, I will never leave._

Hux gazed out over the multitude of hills ranging before him, brow furrowed in thought. The offensive was crucial enough that he'd gone planetside himself to oversee his forces. If they did not regain the mining facility their fuel sources would be severely hindered. Overtaking the combined forces of the Resistance and the New Republic, however, was a daunting task. Ten heavy artillery squadrons, two hundred infantry and thirty TIE Fighters would need to overcome the heavy defenses of a former-(and now once again)Republic mining facility, supported by - if his sources were correct - two dozen X-Wings, two hundred infantry and uncounted masses of anti-air and anti-tank cannons scattered across the tops of the hills standing between them and the mine.

The Resistance and the New Republic held the higher ground, and their forces had been dug in for weeks. Hux had considered flanking the forces and the mine, attacking from the sides and behind, but the deep ravines that bordered it and the massive and well-defended wall at the back of it quickly dissuaded him of those plans. He would lose more men and equipment that way, have no guarantee of success and have to face the brunt of the enemy's forces at the end of it all. No, a full frontal assault was the most logical course of action. It would not be easy, however, and his mind was disquieted as he attempted to estimate the losses. The need to capture the mine was great, but the cost...

 _Would you accept a suggestion, General?_ Ren's voice reached him, and he could feel Ren next to him then, a deep press on his mind that wasn't there a moment earlier. It was comforting to have Ren with him at that moment, Hux hadn't expected him for another couple of weeks. They'd somehow managed to find a way to correlate the passage of time, but even so Ren would often misjudge.

"And what would that be?" Hux asked, looking over at his companion. Ren was all shifting planes and static, his figure much like a highly realistic yet glitching hologram. The air crackled around him in myriad colors, stained glass shards encircling him like a full body halo. His tentacles spread out behind him a writhing cape.

 _Your troops may have an easier time if the ranges of hills they faced were gone, and they had the higher ground._ Ren supplied eagerly, offering the suggestion for Hux's approval.

Hux had to smile; Ren had no reason to ask for it, not anymore. He could do anything he wanted, and yet he still presented his suggestions to Hux, still asked for confirmation.

"Do it." Hux said. He couldn't see Ren grin but he could feel it, a wave of excitement and happiness that filtered to him through their bond. The flickering of Ren's body increased, tentacles squirming against each other, the colors surrounding him swirling like in a kaleidoscope, and as Ren stepped forward he pieced apart like a bad computer glitch, pixels darting away and disappearing.

Hux's com unit buzzed only a few moments later. He answered it and listened with a knowing grin.

"Sir, there's… there's something odd happening here." The officer on the other end sounded dumbstruck.

"What do you mean?" He asked, attempting to sound somewhat concerned.

"Well it's… it's the ground, sir. The hills… they're just, I don't know how to describe it sir. They're… piecing apart…" The officer's voice hissed away, after a long moment he spoke again, voice hushed, "They're _gone_."

Hux could only imagine the scene, imagine the man's consternation. Solid pieces of matter glitching apart, tiny pieces flying up and fading away. The utter and complete transformation of matter into nothing. From where he stood, he could only just barely see the hills in question, but even at that distance he could see the ground was flatter. A shimmering, greyish mist hung near-invisible above it. Oh, he would have loved to see the looks on the officer's face. He would have loved to see the looks on the faces of the enemy troops even more.

Forcing down the laugh that threatened to bubble up out of his mouth, he cleared his throat and responded with a grin,

"Prepare to engage the enemy forces, officer."

EPILOGUE

The council had dragged far into the afternoon hours. It would have been somewhat bearable if the planetary ambassadors weren't putting forth the same arguments as they had the last time, arguments Hux and his fellow Generals of the First Order war council had already politely and firmly denied in previous council meetings. The Cathar at the head of the pack, a massive example of his kind with dusty gray fur and a mane the color of a sunset, pressed onward into another growling monologue, something about equal share of resources and allotment of land to displaced Cathar citizens. Hux restrained a yawn and attempted to focus on the creature's speech; maybe _this_ time he'd have something new to add.

A low rumbled suddenly interjected the proceedings, rolling through the meeting hall like thunder. The Cathar sputtered to a stop, eyes focusing somewhere behind and above Hux's shoulder. From the corner of his eye Hux could see several of his fellow generals pale in reaction to the sudden sound, although they had the sense not to look back.

"That is, if the council would be so gracious to consider our humble requests," The Cather rumbled finally, inclining his head slightly. His companions followed suit, though their eyes never strayed from the sight behind the Generals's backs.

Hux looked at Mitaka who sat on his right, raised an eyebrow in question. Mitaka's looked pensive, he was one of the few who hadn't reacted at all to the rumble a few moments earlier. After a moment, he glanced back at Hux and nodded once.

"Very well," Hux said, straightening in his chair. "The council will consider your requests, Althar. We will reconvene in a month to discuss this further."

"Yes, sir, thank you," Althar inclined his head again, then turned hurriedly to leave, his companions following close behind. Those seated at the council table rose to their feet as well, headed for the door either chatting amiably or with quick, tremulous glances behind.

"I daresay we'd get more done if he attended more meetings." Mitaka said as he rose, tilting his head behind them, and Hux laughed in response. With a grin MItaka continued casually, "I will be returning to the _Retribution_ , then."

"Is the Carn project progressing well?" Hux said as he stood.

"Well enough," Mitaka said reflectively, "We should see results within the next two months."  
"I'll be looking forward to the reports of your progress," Hux said. Mitaka nodded.

"Of course, sir. Until next time," Mitaka turned to add, "And a good day to you, Lord Ren."

He was answered with an amiable rumble. Tucking his datapad under his arm, Mitaka headed out, and Hux turned towards the last remaining unofficial member of the war council.

"You were especially looming today," Hux said with a smirk.

 _Their arguments have become dull._ Ren responded, a shimmering tentacle reaching out gently towards Hux.

"They have a right to argue, as long as they agree to _our_ terms in end." Hux said, touching the offered tentacle. "I don't feel like walking back today."

Ren murmured, spread out more tentacles and looped them together obligingly in front of Hux. Within their circle Hux could see the shimmering view of his personal room. Stepping through the center of the tentacles he left the meeting room and stepped onto the hardwood floor of the front room. Ren's tentacles followed him, stretching through spacetime to keep pace as he strode to the window, undoing the top buttons of his shirt and loosening his collar. They slithered across the floor, tapping impatiently at his heels as he went.

"You'd think I never pay attention to you," Hux said with a chuckle, sparing a glance out the window at the city arrayed beyond it. A multitude of stone buildings spread below them, interspersed by glistening metal scout sky above was a dusty pale yellow, the sun a bright golden disk within it. Far in the distance Hux could see several TIE fighters fly off towards the horizon. Scouting mission, no doubt. There had been reports of Resistance fighters among the savannas far south, and Hux had his men following all leads.

 _You've been busy lately_. Ren said, managing to sound sullen. _I've barely seen any of you._

"Yes, well," Hux turned to look at him, grinning. "Conquest is a time consuming diversion, that is true, but you know all about that."

Ren rumbled agreement, the colors of his tentacles flickering brighter. The multitude of starburst eyes blinked rapidly in amusement. Hux sat in an armchair near the window, relaxing against its soft cushion and finding himself wondering again just how large Ren could be on his own plane. Only part of him projected through the plane's bounder to be with Hux, a mass of writhing iridescent tentacles that faded to smoke and reformed continuously, dotted with stars and shaded with nebulae. Eyes like stars burst across their surface, dotting it continuously in minute flashes of light before fading away almost as quick. The larger starburst eyes hung in the air, flickering and glowing and occasionally bursting supernova when ren was particularly incensed. Stained glass in colors both familiar to Hux and radically different than any he'd ever seen crackled around the edges of the tentacles Ren had thrust into the world, falling apart with a sound like chimes, the pieces fading as they fell before they could reach the floor. Each time he moved new cracks appeared, the stained glass pattern grow as new colors formed and more pieces fell.

He must be massive beyond the border of the plane, Hux thought. He couldn't imagine it but the sight would no doubt be astounding. Massive, and dark, and powerful.

"Tell me, how does your conquest go?" Hux asked, settling himself comfortably in his chair. Ren's tentacles shivered eagerly, several stretched out to curl against Hux where he sat, and he took one in his hand and pressed a kiss to its smooth, rubbery skin.

 _Ighlyan screams through several light years,_ Ren responded, his presence growing heavier on Hux by the moment in what could only be called a sort of metaphysical hug. _His borders increase by the millisecond, and many galaxies have fallen under his darkness._

"That does not sound like it bodes well." Hux said, stroking a tentacle gently as it curled around his neck.

 _I am not impressed._ Ren said haughtily. _My rage is louder_.

"That does not surprise me." Hux said with a laugh. The tentacles shuddered with amusement, the many eyes blinking rapidly around him.

 _Ighlyan will fall, and his possession will be mine_.

"I do not doubt it for a moment." Hux said with tenderness, and Ren shimmered in blushing reds and purples. Hux sighed contentedly, and added, "What a pair we make…"

 _Indeed_. Ren agreed, and touched a tentacle tip to Hux's cheek in a gentle caress.

 _Will you remember me?_

 _Always_

 _After I'm gone…?_

 _Everything will fade, I suppose… But every few hundred years I'll stumble upon a memory of you, and it will light the darkness and warm the cold, and I will remember what happiness is. I will remember you_

* * *

End Notes;

Some things I'd like to offer for consideration:

\- You've got Hux seeing into a different plane when he comes, imagine the stars in Ren's hair bursting supernova when HE does - Hux is blind for hours afterwards. (Still worth it.)

\- I included starshine pretty boy Ren because he needed a soft and gentle interlude before he went full eldritch monstrosity. Also, I adore the imagery of galaxy hair + starshimmer eyes + translucent glowing skin.

\- I like to imagine that the slime on Ren's tentacles functions a bit like the mucousy-slime on Hagfish - stay with me here. You might notice that when Ren is leaving and he's anxious Hux notes that there is slime dripping from his tentacles, but its not there during the Epilogue. Simply, Ren's tentacles produce copious amounts of slime when he gets agitated, either angry or irritated etc. Multiple arguments between Hux and Ren have ended with Hux completely covered in slime from head to toe (not to mention the mass of the stuff coating his floor and possibly some of the furniture. Maybe the ceiling, if Ren is feeling particularly rambunctious)

\- Hux should just have Ren form a throne out of his tentacles whenever there are war council meetings. Nothing intimidates better than showing off how you have 'control' over this massive transdimensional beast of darkness.


End file.
